There I stood, lost in the middle of a great desert.
Sand to the left of me, sand to the right of me. Sand in places you daren't even imagine.
For thirty days and thirty nights I walked with nary a sip of water or morsel of nourishment to fuel my impoverished frame.
Eventually my determination wavered and I found myself finally admitting defeat as my tongue had swollen up and my stomach growled like some sort of wild beast. Just then I heard a voice... a sweet, angelic voice I'll never forget.
The elegant, majestic voice lead me to an oasis brimming with fresh water, fruit and animals and I gorged myself until a much fatter man stood where once was a meager, pitiful creature.
After that, the voice directed me here and I happily followed. As I finally reached the golden gates of destructoid I heard the voice becoming distant. I'll never forget the last words it spoke to me before finally dissapearing.
"Thank god... for me"