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Thread: The Greatest Story Ever Told -- an experiment in group fiction

  1. #1
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    The Greatest Story Ever Told -- an experiment in group fiction

    I had this idea, but maybe it's been done before. Here's the concept:

    1) I'll start telling a story, using a maximum of five sentences.
    2) The fifth sentence will be unfinished, ending in a fragmented thought. (Ex: "He turned around to see...")
    3) Someone else, I guess whoever gets to it first, will use that fragment as the beginning of their five sentences, continuing the story however they please.
    4) They'll end their fifth sentence in a fragment, and the pattern will continue.

    This will probably get stupid real quick but whatever, let's see what happens.

    Story #1: Starts below, and finished on page 7.

    Story #2: Starts here.
    Last edited by Corduroy Turtle; 01-27-2014 at 04:49 PM.

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    John was running late. As he rushed out the door, he carelessly forgot his wallet and cell phone on the kitchen counter. About halfway to work, he realized his mistake and cursed as he quickly pulled a u-turn. If he was late for work one more time he would surely be fired. Just then a car...
    Last edited by Corduroy Turtle; 10-17-2013 at 09:55 PM.

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    Quoting to make it easier to tell who the response was to in the event of anyone getting ninja'd.

    Quote Originally Posted by Corduroy Turtle View Post
    John was running late. As he rushed out the door, he carelessly forgot his wallet and cell phone on the kitchen counter. About halfway to work, he realized his mistake and cursed as he quickly pulled a u-turn. If he was late for work one more time he would surely be fired. Just then a car...
    ...came careening out of the side alley with sirens wailing. John slams on the breaks and manages to stop just in time. Catching his breath, John looks down at his hands as if to check that he is still in one piece. Satisfied and reassured that he has managed to escape unscathed he returns his gaze to the unmarked car that was now stopped directly in front of him. The driver, staring at John through his dark sunglasses, reaches over to his glove compartment and pulls out a...

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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantHige View Post
    ...came careening out of the side alley with sirens wailing. John slams on the breaks and manages to stop just in time. Catching his breath, John looks down at his hands as if to check that he is still in one piece. Satisfied and reassured that he has managed to escape unscathed he returns his gaze to the unmarked car that was now stopped directly in front of him. The driver, staring at John through his dark sunglasses, reaches over to his glove compartment and pulls out a...
    ...still sealed copy of "Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City". John instantly wonders why an unmarked car would be carrying that game, and why the driver would specifically show it to him. The driver of the other car gets out slowly, never breaking his gaze with John. John begins to panic, wondering if he's in some sort of strange Michael Jordan related trouble. The driver then reached for his sunglasses as if to take them off but instead of taking off just his sunglasses his entire face was revealed to be a rubber mask, revealing that the driver was actually...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Corduroy Turtle View Post
    This will probably get stupid real quick.
    Impressive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Corduroy Turtle View Post
    Impressive.


    I'm here to serve

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sephzilla View Post
    ...still sealed copy of "Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City". John instantly wonders why an unmarked car would be carrying that game, and why the driver would specifically show it to him. The driver of the other car gets out slowly, never breaking his gaze with John. John begins to panic, wondering if he's in some sort of strange Michael Jordan related trouble. The driver then reached for his sunglasses as if to take them off but instead of taking off just his sunglasses his entire face was revealed to be a rubber mask, revealing that the driver was actually...
    ...President Barack Obama. He smiled at John and tossed him the cartridge. Confused, John looked down and noticed that it wasn't a video game at all, but a high-tech communication device.

    "John, I'm putting together a team of experts to help me track down the biggest threat the world has ever faced and I desperately need your help."

    Before John could answer, Obama looked to the sky and...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Corduroy Turtle View Post
    ...President Barack Obama. He smiled at John and tossed him the cartridge. Confused, John looked down and noticed that it wasn't a video game at all, but a high-tech communication device.

    "John, I'm putting together a team of experts to help me track down the biggest threat the world has ever faced and I desperately need your help."

    Before John could answer, Obama looked to the sky and...
    ...raised a cylinder to the sky, pressing a button as he did so.

    With a flash, he transformed into Ultrablackman, which for the sake of this story, is most easily imagined as Terry Crews in a leotard and a Kamen Rider mask. Suddenly, from the edge of the horizon, a three-headed white snake beast crash-landed and roared an evil sound, cutting the air like the picking of electric banjos and bitching about taxes over Sunday coffee and bagels.

    Each head had its own hat, one a trucker cap, another wore a cowboy hat, and the last had one made of tinfoil. John scrambled for the cartridge, trying to figure out the controls before the melee began. He was desperate to understand how...

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    (Psst, one too many sentences. The rules are important!)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Everyday Legend View Post
    ...raised a cylinder to the sky, pressing a button as he did so.

    With a flash, he transformed into Ultrablackman, which for the sake of this story, is most easily imagined as Terry Crews in a leotard and a Kamen Rider mask. Suddenly, from the edge of the horizon, a three-headed white snake beast crash-landed and roared an evil sound, cutting the air like the picking of electric banjos and bitching about taxes over Sunday coffee and bagels.

    Each head had its own hat, one a trucker cap, another wore a cowboy hat, and the last had one made of tinfoil. John scrambled for the cartridge, trying to figure out the controls before the melee began. He was desperate to understand how...
    ....in the hell the President had grown to be 100 feet tall.
    Striding forward confidently, Obama gripped the beast by two throats, one in each hand, before axe kicking the third and pressing his heel into the back of it's head. He called out for John to press the bee button.
    Looking down at the device, John saw that there was in fact a button shaped like a bee with black and yellow stripes. He pressed it, and the air was filled with a loud buzzing sound as a hundred drones flew out from nowhere, launching laser guided flechettes at the three-headed monster; John would have been in awe, if it wasn't for....

  11. 10-17-2013, 09:47 PM
    Reason
    Luna's was better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Last Scion of the House of Blue Lions View Post
    ....in the hell the President had grown to be 100 feet tall.
    Striding forward confidently, Obama gripped the beast by two throats, one in each hand, before axe kicking the third and pressing his heel into the back of it's head. He called out for John to press the bee button.
    Looking down at the device, John saw that there was in fact a button shaped like a bee with black and yellow stripes. He pressed it, and the air was filled with a loud buzzing sound as a hundred drones flew out from nowhere, launching laser guided flechettes at the three-headed monster; John would have been in awe, if it wasn't for....
    ...this incredibly loud and horrific ringing noise that led him to cover his ears and close his eyes in sheer agony. When he finally got to open his eyes, John finds himself back in his room, laying sideways in his bed; with his cellphone lighting up the dark room and playing the same horrific sound as before. John is now filled with regret, thinking that he shouldn't have taken those pills he bought from that shady old man from across the street. After turning off his cellphone alarm, John got out of his bed and received the biggest surprise of his life when opened his bedroom door. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that he, while half-naked in the comfort of his own home, would be greeted by...

    EDIT:
    @Turtle: WOW. We posted at the EXACT SAME TIME with the EXACT SAME IDEA.

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    Looks like a tie, who gets it?
    Edit: Wow, those are both eerily similar.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Sy View Post
    We posted at the EXACT SAME TIME with the EXACT SAME IDEA.
    Great minds...something something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Sy View Post
    ...this incredibly loud and horrific ringing noise that led him to cover his ears and close his eyes in sheer agony. When he finally got to open his eyes, John finds himself back in his room, laying sideways in his bed; with his cellphone lighting up the dark room and playing the same horrific sound as before. John is now filled with regret, thinking that he shouldn't have taken those pills he bought from that shady old man from across the street. After turning off his cellphone alarm, John got out of his bed and received the biggest surprise of his life when opened his bedroom door. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that he, while half-naked in the comfort of his own home, would be greeted by...
    .... A six foot golem made of clay, with an incredibly detailed anatomy, including a circumcised penis. This was notable because it was both at least a foot long, and the creature was not wearing clothes of any kind. It motioned for him to follow, and when John tried to find his clothes, it grabbed him by the arm and led him out of the house. His grip was both strong and soft, owing to the malleable nature of it's artificial life. Once outside they walked down the street past several startled bystanders and turned into a back alley behind the local gym, there, the golem turned to face him and said....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Last Scion of the House of Blue Lions View Post
    .... A six foot golem made of clay, with an incredibly detailed anatomy, including a circumcised penis. This was notable because it was both at least a foot long, and the creature was not wearing clothes of any kind. It motioned for him to follow, and when John tried to find his clothes, it grabbed him by the arm and led him out of the house. His grip was both strong and soft, owing to the malleable nature of it's artificial life. Once outside they walked down the street past several startled bystanders and turned into a back alley behind the local gym, there, the golem turned to face him and said....
    ...something totally unintelligible. John must have looked confused because the golem tilted his head back and let out a mighty laugh. After he wiped the clay tears from his eyes, he took his giant hand and shoved it into his chest, pulled out a wad of himself and handed it to John, motioning for him to eat it. Initially John recoiled in disgust, but then he thought about the golem's swollen, foot-long member swinging proudly and began to feverishly gobble up the organic substance. Almost immediately, John noticed...

  17. #16
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    ...the alarm blaring in the distance. He sat up in bed, desperate for a drink of anything to get the imaginary taste of mudman off of his tongue. Just then, a voice could be heard, but was muffled. He walked over to the window to see if he could locate the person speaking, and there he saw his downstairs neighbor, Beth. She was newly-single, not incredibly beautiful but modestly attractive, and while she spoke on the phone outside her eyes happened to catch John in the window, at which point she said...

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    Wow, two dreams? Weak.

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    Don't be so damn hypercritical just because I wanted to take this thing into Groundhog Day territory.



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    As long as there isn't another Presidential meeting or mythological being I think we'll be alright.

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    Watch. Imma wake his dumb ass up from another dream about seven pages in.

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