LGBT Issues and Vidja Games

[Sir Legendhead]

It takes a conscious effort to not be a complete dickhead. Many people don't care to put forth the effort. It's much easier to snicker, point, & sneer. Acceptance is a motherfucker and so many people are too scared to face it.

Well, hopefully I'm not coming off as a complete dickhead with my observation about men and transgendered women. It really is something I've been turning around in my mind for years. Imo the CIS man in that situation is technically speaking, not gay. His wife, girlfriend, w/e would be a woman. That qualifies as straight.

Some people may accuse me of trying to distort reality there and it would be true, I suppose. Just not in the way they might think.

[DpadJoe]

Well, hopefully I'm not coming off as a complete dickhead with my observation about men and transgendered women. It really is something I've been turning around in my mind for years. Imo the CIS man in that situation is technically speaking, not gay. His wife, girlfriend, w/e would be a woman. That qualifies as straight.

Some people may accuse me of trying to distort reality there and it would be true, I suppose. Just not in the way they might think.

tbh like most of life it's not a black and white issue there's shades of grey (not 50 of them may I add) anyway to me looking in from the outside I would classify them as straight, it's not just the anatomy that makes up attraction plus you have to take into account hormone therapy/gender surgery but as I said it's a complex issue and I could easily be off base here.

[Analoge]

Well, hopefully I'm not coming off as a complete dickhead with my observation about men and transgendered women. It really is something I've been turning around in my mind for years. Imo the CIS man in that situation is technically speaking, not gay. His wife, girlfriend, w/e would be a woman. That qualifies as straight.

Some people may accuse me of trying to distort reality there and it would be true, I suppose. Just not in the way they might think.

No, you're totally right there. A man who loves a woman is not gay. Doesn't matter if the man has a vagina. It's about identity.

[digtastik]

Well, hopefully I'm not coming off as a complete dickhead with my observation about men and transgendered women. It really is something I've been turning around in my mind for years. Imo the CIS man in that situation is technically speaking, not gay. His wife, girlfriend, w/e would be a woman. That qualifies as straight.

Some people may accuse me of trying to distort reality there and it would be true, I suppose. Just not in the way they might think.

no i meant people in general who have a hard time accepting differences in others to the point of just refusing to do so. it's almost like their thought process is something like "i can't believe that guy sucks cock. that is so gross. if i'm ok with that guy sucking cock, i'm going be on my knees chuggin' away next." like it's infectious or something.

[Sir Legendhead]

no i meant people in general who have a hard time accepting differences in others to the point of just refusing to do so. it's almost like their thought process is something like "i can't believe that guy sucks cock. that is so gross. if i'm ok with that guy sucking cock, i'm going be on my knees chuggin' away next." like it's infectious or something.

Haha oh man. There is no emoticon to express how hard I'm laughing over that. Yeah, it just transmits like a virus. Errybody be chuggin' away these days lol

[Trev]

Well, hopefully I'm not coming off as a complete dickhead with my observation about men and transgendered women. It really is something I've been turning around in my mind for years. Imo the CIS man in that situation is technically speaking, not gay. His wife, girlfriend, w/e would be a woman. That qualifies as straight.

Some people may accuse me of trying to distort reality there and it would be true, I suppose. Just not in the way they might think.

I've heard it claimed that it was transphobic to not want a relationship with someone when finding out that their current identity was not their original sex. I've always thought there was something off about that. It's wrong to take that sort of agency away from anyone. Not that you had suggested otherwise, it's just the flip side to people being able to define relationships however they like. If both parties are comfortable with it, I agree it should be labeled as they deem appropriate.

Yeah, it just transmits like a virus.

A couple of comics have joked about mandatory gay marriage. If we let them marry, everyone will have to. Everyone.

[Sir Legendhead]

I've actually thought it would be kind of neat to make all marriage illegal. My Christian friends would shit bricks though. I also realize how poorly worded this sentence is, and left it because lol.

Seriously though, good points.

[Analoge]

I've heard it claimed that it was transphobic to not want a relationship with someone when finding out that their current identity was not their original sex. I've always thought there was something off about that. It's wrong to take that sort of agency away from anyone. Not that you had suggested otherwise, it's just the flip side to people being able to define relationships however they like. If both parties are comfortable with it, I agree it should be labeled as they deem appropriate

I agree. You can't tell someone who they should be comfortable dating. The pitfall that I despise is this myth that it is the trans* person's obligation to disclose their trans*ness to a date. It should not be my responsibility to tell anyone any part of my identity for any reason if I don't choose to. If a person is so concerned about not dating a trans* person, it should be their responsibility to ask potential partners if they are trans*. Unfortunately, because of our societal norms, hoping for fairness like this in a relationship is a pipe dream for us.

[usedtabe]

All my first dates started out with "yo bitch can you has babies?". Seems to eliminated anything I didn't want to deal with.

[digtastik]

All my first dates start out with "yo bitch can you has babies?". Seems to eliminated anything I didn't want to deal with.

I was about to go there(i'm sure that's shocking to some of you). It's not all about love and relationships unfortunately.

[Trev]

I agree. You can't tell someone who they should be comfortable dating. The pitfall that I despise is this myth that it is the trans* person's obligation to disclose their trans*ness to a date. It should not be my responsibility to tell anyone any part of my identity for any reason if I don't choose to. If a person is so concerned about not dating a trans* person, it should be their responsibility to ask potential partners if they are trans*. Unfortunately, because of our societal norms, hoping for fairness like this in a relationship is a pipe dream for us.

I don't think it's an obligation. Not early on, anyway. As a relationship goes on, it may be prudent to talk about it in an appropriate setting so it doesn't come up in a bad way and someone may feel hurt if the decision is made not to. By then I would think attitudes have been gauged and it can be handled in a mature way.

[usedtabe]

I agree with her in that if a dude is worried about that he should ask the questions. Some dudes are just too pussified and worried about rocking the boat but if something is on your mind speak up.

That's not to say that being upfront about it wouldn't be appreciated.

[digtastik]

Regardless of emotional ties, some guys just wouldn't be able to swallow it when they found out.

[Analoge]

I don't think it's an obligation. Not early on, anyway. As a relationship goes on, it may be prudent to talk about it in an appropriate setting so it doesn't come up in a bad way and someone may feel hurt if the decision is made not to. By then I would think attitudes have been gauged and it can be handled in a mature way.

Yeah, we'd all like to think that men would just take it in stride and react in a mature, levelled way.

Instead, shit like this happens: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Gwen_Araujo

That's the cold hard truth. There's a Trans* Day of Remembrance every year because shit like this is so common it's literally frightening.

[usedtabe]

Their response was beyond retarded but reading up on the situation she didn't just not tell them she actively tried to hide it from them, telling them she was menstruating so she couldn't have regular intercourse. Doesn't condone anything that happened in any way but that's different than what we're discussing, IMO.

[Sir Legendhead]

Regardless of emotional ties, some guys just wouldn't be able to swallow it when they found out.

The psychology of it would be a thing too. You ever see Somewhere in Time?

(brief synopsis)

Spoiler!

Christopher Reeve hypnotizes himself as a way of metaphysically traveling back through time, so he can meet up with a much older woman he had fallen in love with. He does so successfully, and is literally there with her, not only in his imagination but his reality as well. Then he reaches into his pocket one day and without thinking, pulls out a coin dated 1980-something. When he sees it, his one true love fades away from the camera's point of view, horrified and heartbroken.

It's an amazing film and you can see how it would apply here. I've always wondered what would be like if the woman just kind of snapped out of it and started wanting to be male again. Never have heard of that happening though.

[Analoge]

Their response was beyond retarded but reading up on the situation she didn't just not tell them she actively tried to hide it from them, telling them she was menstruating so she couldn't have regular intercourse. Doesn't condone anything that happened in any way but that's different than what we're discussing, IMO.

Honestly, I don't think that's any different than the myriad other things we don't disclose or try to hide about ourselves when we're interested in someone sexually. The part that makes me so mad I could go out and spit on a car is this idea of a "trans* panic" defense. "Well, your honor, it turns out she was a DUDE! I din't have no choice but to beat her to death with kitchenware! You understand, don't you fellas?" *Men on jury nod sympathetically*

Awful.

[Byronic Man]

No, you're totally right there. A man who loves a woman is not gay. Doesn't matter if the man has a vagina. It's about identity.

Could you elaborate on this?

[digtastik]

Honestly, I don't think that's any different than the myriad other things we don't disclose or try to hide about ourselves when we're interested in someone sexually. The part that makes me so mad I could go out and spit on a car is this idea of a "trans* panic" defense. "Well, your honor, it turns out she was a DUDE! I din't have no choice but to beat her to death with kitchenware! You understand, don't you fellas?" *Men on jury nod sympathetically*

Awful.

Yea, that's complete and utter bullshit.

[Analoge]

Could you elaborate on this?

Sure. Don't know how much, though. It's pretty simple. I know tons of girls with penises. I know tons of dudes with vaginas. Not every trans girl wants to have vaginoplasty. Not every trans guy wants to have a hysterectomy or attempt experimental surgery to give them a penis. For a lot of people, the identity of being a woman or a man itself is enough to relieve their dysphoria. They're still men and women, regardless of their parts, and as a result, any relationship they have with another man or woman would be perceived as either straight or gay, depending.