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Thread: A Call for Help

  1. #21
    Practice, get feedback, improve. Also, since you have the added benefit of depression you have to actively make yourself acknowledge when you are doing well at something. It's easy to just brush it off and ignore it, but if you can admit to yourself that "Hey I'm not completely terrible at X" then you will slowly gain more confidence in your ability to do said thing. There's always going to be someone "better" at what you're trying to accomplish, so you don't need to convince yourself that you are the best at something, just that you can do it better than the average person who isn't working to improve on it.

  2. #22
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    A good way to build confidence is to set goals for yourself and to see it through to their completion.

    I'm a pretty big Gundam fan. I've seen everything made with Gundam in the title, which amounts to over 600 episodes across 30 years of animation and about 10 hours worth of movies of various quality. I can explain why mobile suits made in the year 0120 are different than ones made in 0087, as well as the philosophical differences between the Principality of Zeon and the Crossbone Vanguard--real nerdy shit.

    What led me to becoming this giant ass nerd was because I wanted to get over the ending of a very stressful relationship, so that I wouldn't be dwelling on that shit every day. With a sudden abundance of free time, I decided that I wanted to watch everything Gundam had to offer. I set that goal for myself, and I didn't give up on it. This led me to building model kits, which turned out to be a great way for me to deal with anxiety. Building models gives me focus and a sense of control where my success or failure is entirely dependent upon myself and no one else. The goals I set for myself are dependent upon me and me alone so as to eliminate any other variables--if I succeed, it was because of me.

    There are a thousand different goals you can set for yourself. You can go play every game in a series, watch every film in a series, start some kind of craft or hobby, run a marathon, climb a mountain, write a book, or start working out to get in shape. We have a Gym thread in The Bar section where you can go to get help and advice. You can join a gym or, if you don't like being around many people, you can buy your own equipment and work out at home. I grabbed some free weights and a punching back and I work out in my backyard just to stay in shape. But by setting these personal goals and achieving them, confidence will come naturally once you prove to yourself that you're capable of accomplishing things.

    As for your work: You just described a boss most people have at least once in their life. That kind of shit comes with the territory. Bosses, like women, are like everybody else: A few winners and a whole lot of losers on a power trip.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Revuhlooshun View Post
    or start working out to get in shape. We have a Gym thread in The Bar section where you can go to get help and advice. You can join a gym or, if you don't like being around many people, you can buy your own equipment and work out at home. I grabbed some free weights and a punching back and I work out in my backyard just to stay in shape.
    I proud. I know I've been messing around in your thread,but Rev speaks the truth. Especially here. Working out will give you confidence you wouldn't believe. As a male the testosterone boost you get from lifting/exercising will elevate your mood and confidence.

  4. #24
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    Usedtabe just wants more people in his closet circle jerks all the weightlifters have at MuscleCon and


    NO seriously OP you ask for help but so far have shot down almost every single attempt, it sounds like you don't really want help just someone to tell you to keep being you. Which right now doesn't sound like the best decision.

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    Quote Originally Posted by usedtabe View Post
    I proud. I know I've been messing around in your thread,but Rev speaks the truth. Especially here. Working out will give you confidence you wouldn't believe. As a male the testosterone boost you get from lifting/exercising will elevate your mood and confidence.
    I hate to refute this, but it doesn't work. I've been going to a gym for nearly a year and a half now. It's probably made my depression worse. I can bench 150 lbs, but that doesn't mean jack shit in my actual life. Hell, I can run at 8 MPH for 12 minutes straight. I get on the stair master for 15-20 minute intervals at level 14. I'm pretty damn advanced and it doesn't help.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by de BLOO View Post
    Usedtabe just wants more people in his closet circle jerks all the weightlifters have at MuscleCon and


    NO seriously OP you ask for help but so far have shot down almost every single attempt, it sounds like you don't really want help just someone to tell you to keep being you. Which right now doesn't sound like the best decision.
    But see, this is wrong. I actually felt much better today thanks to Revuhlooshun. It may not be the best thing in the world and it may only be a small step, but I'm taking his words to heart.

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    That's good to hear. A smell step is better than no step. Simply changing the way you look at things can help to overcome depression in the long run. It won't come right away of course, but as long as you make a conscious effort to change the way you view both the world and yourself (in addition to the things everyone else has contributed here), you'll see things start to turn around eventually.

    I recommend that you watch Neon Genesis Evangelion. If you've already watched it, watch it again, but pay close attention to the final two episodes and take in what they're trying to say. NGE can seem complicated and mysterious to many people, but anyone who's struggled with serious bouts of depression will not only be able to understand what's going on, but also the solutions being offered in its bat-shit finale. That show was written by a clinically depressed man trying to help out other depressed people--you have to be a little fucked up in the head in order to get on its level. But that show was really the thing that lifted me from years of depression, the spark that lit my "Ah-ha!" moment.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingSigy View Post
    I hate to refute this, but it doesn't work. I've been going to a gym for nearly a year and a half now. It's probably made my depression worse. I can bench 150 lbs, but that doesn't mean jack shit in my actual life. Hell, I can run at 8 MPH for 12 minutes straight. I get on the stair master for 15-20 minute intervals at level 14. I'm pretty damn advanced and it doesn't help.
    A year and a half is commendable and it's great you've been exercising. But you have not disproven anything and I don't say this to be mean or discredit your gains. Those are not advanced numbers. I say this to show that you can do more, go harder and become better. At a bodyweight of 240 I benched 405 and that's just barely considered "advanced". I've changed gyms 3 times in the past 2 years because of my locations quote: "If you're the strongest person in the room, you're in the wrong room". I don't say any of this to brag(the other 2 gyms were small so being the strongest wasn't hard or anything worth mentioning other than to prove a point here) but to so you can understand that complacency is not your friend, and exercise/bettering yourself never ends. I moved on to be challenged, and to be pushed harder to become better. Being the king of a small pond is nothing compared to competing with beasts of the ocean who I may never best but will make me better.

    So again, you are to be commended for your efforts bro. I really mean that. But don't think that there isn't farther to go or that you've reached a level that cannot be pushed further. And by doing that, confidence will come and bouts of depression will be easier to fight. I speak from experience. Exercise, tough, hard exercise can help you. You just have to let it light that fire in your stomach to become a god among men. Ancestors from every walk of life had their men strive to be the strongest they could be for reasons more than wars/ needing soldiers.

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    Usedbro, with all due respect, I think you're missing his point. Idk if his problem is spiritual or psychological, but it's clearly not a physical thing.

  9. #29
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    You miss the point that they are all connected. Letting one part slide will effect the others. The phrase "mind,spirit,body" is there for a reason. Maybe you're right and I missed the point and apologies if so. I just wanted to make sure that he knows there is so much farther to go physically that can help the other parts that may be lagging in his life.

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    First of all, you ain't got to apologize to me. I just don't see things like you do that's all.

    Secondly, yeah, I know the body is an extension of the mind and vice versa. Just because I'm a fat boy now doesn't mean I always was that way. I usedtabe something too, y'know, but that's beside the point.

    Idk man. i'm reluctant to give this guy an answer because I'm pretty confused myself. Here's what's good imo: Add the Dalai Lama on Facebook. Dude has the wisdom and if he can't teach you then I ain't worth shit.

  11. #31
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    It's important to not settle for good enough when you can do better. What used is saying not only relates to the physical, but to the spiritual and psychological as well. I think that it's an equally important message to pass along. It's potential motivation for Sigy to set higher goals for himself in an area he's already showing some proficiency in. It sure would't hurt his chances at attracting women either. He'd be crushing quite a number of birds with one stone by pushing himself harder in the gym.

    I also think that he's looking at his gains somewhat pessimistically. Surely being in shape offers nothing but benefits that affect his every day life. I can't imagine many negatives it'd bring. In a country where 75% of the population is overweight, he should be proud that he's made the progress that he has. Most people can't do the shit that he does. But there is always room for all of us to improve. We should all strive for excellence.

  12. #32
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    In the words of the MuscleTwins:


  13. #33
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    Another thing: Sometimes you got to ignore women. I know it's not easy but damn. Sometimes they love a man too much.


  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by usedtabe View Post
    A year and a half is commendable and it's great you've been exercising. But you have not disproven anything and I don't say this to be mean or discredit your gains. Those are not advanced numbers. I say this to show that you can do more, go harder and become better. At a bodyweight of 240 I benched 405 and that's just barely considered "advanced". I've changed gyms 3 times in the past 2 years because of my locations quote: "If you're the strongest person in the room, you're in the wrong room". I don't say any of this to brag(the other 2 gyms were small so being the strongest wasn't hard or anything worth mentioning other than to prove a point here) but to so you can understand that complacency is not your friend, and exercise/bettering yourself never ends. I moved on to be challenged, and to be pushed harder to become better. Being the king of a small pond is nothing compared to competing with beasts of the ocean who I may never best but will make me better.

    So again, you are to be commended for your efforts bro. I really mean that. But don't think that there isn't farther to go or that you've reached a level that cannot be pushed further. And by doing that, confidence will come and bouts of depression will be easier to fight. I speak from experience. Exercise, tough, hard exercise can help you. You just have to let it light that fire in your stomach to become a god among men. Ancestors from every walk of life had their men strive to be the strongest they could be for reasons more than wars/ needing soldiers.
    Well, you're right about the gym thing. I do need to change my gym. I just don't really have any locations that don't require year long contracts. Considering I plan to move to another state within 3 months, I don't want to sign somewhere that will require me to pay for 9 extra months.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Legendhead View Post
    Usedbro, with all due respect, I think you're missing his point. Idk if his problem is spiritual or psychological, but it's clearly not a physical thing.
    Eh, doesn't matter if he's missing the point. His ideas for physical health are something I do truly need right now. Not only am I stuck at a plateau, but I feel like I'm getting fatter by becoming complacent with my routine. I almost never do much different and I tend to get stuck with heavier weights since I can't really push harder.

  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Legendhead View Post
    First of all, you ain't got to apologize to me. I just don't see things like you do that's all.

    Secondly, yeah, I know the body is an extension of the mind and vice versa. Just because I'm a fat boy now doesn't mean I always was that way. I usedtabe something too, y'know, but that's beside the point.

    Idk man. i'm reluctant to give this guy an answer because I'm pretty confused myself. Here's what's good imo: Add the Dalai Lama on Facebook. Dude has the wisdom and if he can't teach you then I ain't worth shit.
    I don't have a Facebook page anymore. I got rid of it since I just followed people to vicariously live their lives.

  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Revuhlooshun View Post
    It's important to not settle for good enough when you can do better. What used is saying not only relates to the physical, but to the spiritual and psychological as well. I think that it's an equally important message to pass along. It's potential motivation for Sigy to set higher goals for himself in an area he's already showing some proficiency in. It sure would't hurt his chances at attracting women either. He'd be crushing quite a number of birds with one stone by pushing himself harder in the gym.

    I also think that he's looking at his gains somewhat pessimistically. Surely being in shape offers nothing but benefits that affect his every day life. I can't imagine many negatives it'd bring. In a country where 75% of the population is overweight, he should be proud that he's made the progress that he has. Most people can't do the shit that he does. But there is always room for all of us to improve. We should all strive for excellence.
    My weight, sadly, fluctuates right now. I go from around 165-172 depending on the week and how I eat. While for a good 5-7 weeks I can diet and feel quite nice about myself, I sometimes screw up and end up eating whatever the fuck I want for a good week and a half. Then I tend to notice bulge around the stomach and it leads me to feel worse about myself.

    I do think what used said about changing gyms will help. A brand new, entirely unpracticed routine would bring a great change to my physicality. Still, I'm not upset with a weight of 170. Considering the last time I did a BMI, I was around 8% body fat, 170 isn't bad.

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingSigy View Post
    I don't have a Facebook page anymore. I got rid of it since I just followed people to vicariously live their lives.
    I made a Facebook just because it seems like a thing that normal people do. But now I'm like, fuck, why bother. I can only post "normal" things on it.

  18. #38
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    Actually, fuck the original topic. I want to know Used's nutrition plan and maybe possible workout routine. While I don't really concern myself too much with cutting down on calories, I'd like to know a better mix of things I can eat for lunch. My breakfasts usually consist of cereal (Fiber One whatever and Cheerios), eggs or oatmeal (usually instant stuff). My lunch is almost always an apple, banana, small portion of yogurt and about 1/3rd cup of raisins. I sometimes take cottege cheese or pineapple with me.

    Dinners include the protein shake after the gym (I use Hemp Protein. I used to do Whey, but that shit just adds too much fat) and then whatever I can find. When I screw up my diet, I usually either find the meal wasn't cooked right, someone pissed me off or I'm so lethargic that I can't contain myself.

  19. #39
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    Honestly dude, I think you might have some kind of psychological malfunction based on a perceived need for a perfect appearance. Fairly common thing these days. But yeah, Used knows what's up with them muscles. I was bulked up back in the day but not like him. Boy ain't too bright but he knows his shit.

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    Don't mind Legendhead. He's been drinking tonight. He means well.

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