Sh*t People say on Facebook

[BadStar]

[Panzadolphin56]

That's just...

[Stevil]

This was posted as a comment on this picture:



" Hi, I am Teddy. I am years old. I have no eyes and blood all over my face. I am dead. If you don’t post this to at least 12 pictures I will come to your house at midnight and I’ll hide under your bed. When you’re asleep, I’ll kill you. Don’t believe me? Case 1: Patty Buckles got this chain e-mail. She didn’t believe in chain letters. Well, foolish Patty. She was sleeping when her TV started flickering on and off. Now she’s not with us anymore. Ha ha Patty, Ha ha! You don’t want to be like Patty, do you? Case 2: George M. Simon hated chain emails, but he didn’t want to die that night. He post it to 4 pictures. Not good enough George. Now, George is in a coma. we don’t know if he’ll ever wake up. Ha ha George, Ha ha! Now, do you want to be like George? Case 3: Valarie Tyler got this chain e-mail. Just another chain letter, or so she thought. Only had 7 pictures to post to. Well, that night when she was having a shower she saw a bloody figure in the mirror. She got the biggest fright of her life. Valarie is scarred for life. Case 4: Derek Minse was a smart person. He post it to 12 pictures. Later that day, he found a $100 bill on the ground. He was promoted to head manager at his job and his girlfriend agreed to marry him. Now, he and his wife are living happily ever after. They have two beautiful children. Post this to at least 12 pictures or you’ll face the consequences. 0 pictures – You will die tonight! 1-6 pictures – you will be injured! 7-11 pictures –you will get the biggest fright of your life! 12 and over – you are safe and will have good fortune! Do What Teddy Says!!!! Hurry, you must post this t 12 picturesmidnight"



Seems legit.

Pretty sure this is a reference to Harry Plinkett from Red Letter Media. There's a running gag about pizza rolls and how he's sending them out in the mail if you send him a dollar. Harry's also a psychotic murderer, so there you go.

[usedtabe]

I always knew yoga was from the devil.

[Tarvu]

I was wandering round a supermarket, and I got looking at a bottle of Tabasco, and I was like "Fuck, I bet that company used to own a shit-ton of slaves," so fuck Tabasco I guess.

This guy often makes me laugh. Hurray for curation!

[BadStar]

i only wish you sheltered children could of saw what i have but than not even religion could give you confort.

[BadStar]

I want your Facebook to be my Facebook.

[bbrigg]

"Couldn't ask for a better man, glad God decided we should give it another try."

This coming from the the chick that cheated on my friend with the guy she's talking about. What a stupid bitch

[skateallday101]

I love Bagel Bites.

[TurboKill]

Girl I know posts, "this sick and hurt full who the hell allow shit like this on Facebook!!" in reference to a really fucked up video, and proceeds to share said video on Facebook...

I don't know what I expected. I wish I could unsee it.

[usedtabe]

Link it or PM it dude.

[TurboKill]

Seems like it was removed from FB now.

Spoiler!

It may or may not have been a video of someone being decapped with a knife.

[usedtabe]

lol at someone putting one of those on Facebook.

[usedtabe]

All of these came from the same Facebook, and the pictures I just posted in the pics thread did as well.

[usedtabe]

So insensitive.

[BadStar]

disgusting

[BadStar]

a married guy posted this

[TurboKill]

Saw this on FB, man I hope it's true. It was on a "Insert University Here" Confessions Page:

"So I'm gay and everyone on my floor is really accepting of it except this one girl. She is incredibly religious. One day, she got on the elevator with me and after i said "hi" proceeded to respond with "god hates f*gs" the jokes on her though because little does she know that i have been having sex with her "god fearing" boyfriend since fall semester."

EDIT: lol, DTOIDs filters just improved the quote a little bit, but I changed it for clarity.

[JackShadow]

So my buddy posted about how he can't sleep and he was having trouble turning his brain off. typical 3 am " too much caffeine, stupid brain won't turn off."

Then his mom posts this and it was hard not to giggle.

[Everyday Legend]

You know what quiets the devil right down?

Scotch. Just a little bit will cause that motherfucker to shut right up.