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Thread: Which Platforming Hero could survive a zombie apocalypse?

  1. #1
    [Level 5: Mech]
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    Which Platforming Hero could survive a zombie apocalypse?

    Putting the spin on the Zombie Apocalypse theme (sort of), I ask this question: Which Videogame hero from any classic or Modern Platformer could survive a Zombie Apocalypse? In order to choose a character, he must pass all 5 requirements:
    -Transportation?
    -What means of protection?
    -Able to get nourishment?
    -Any setbacks, like weaknesses?
    -Will they go find a cure?

    So, let's Get the ball rolling:

    Splosion Man
    -Transportation is on foot, powered by sploding
    -Ability to summon miniature nuclear explosions at will
    -Doesn't eat. Eats cake/donuts/meat for enjoyment
    -Only setback is weak against liquids & can only splode 3 times in a row
    -Won't find a cure. Only find friends.

  2. #2
    Gordon Freeman. He has a pipe and he fights vampires.

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    THE MR.E BIRD
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    Tetrobot
    - Has tiny little legs
    - Very small, unlikely to be noticed by zombies
    - Robots don't eat
    - Lava... uh... bacteria.
    - Won't find a cure unless one can be made by rearranging blocks that matter.

  4. #4
    That's not a knife...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Byronic Man View Post
    Gordon Freeman. He has a pipe and he fights vampires.
    Fuck that's what I wanted to say.


    Erm, Doom Guy. He has a shotgun and doesn't afraid of anything.

  5. #5
    Beast Master ZombiePlatypus's Avatar
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    BOWSER, KING OF THE KOOPAS


    -Transportation? That bitdhin' clown faced helicoptery thingy. KEEPS HIM ABOVE THE UNDEAD HORDES!!
    -What means of protection? Bitchin' helicoptery thing and also thick reptilian skin adn awesome spiked shell.
    -Able to get nourishment? Yep. Hee can burn shit with his fier breath and then eat it. Maybe he;dd eat hisgoombas too, who knows...
    -Any setbacks, like weaknesses? He loves too much. He;s got such a big heart, he mighrt go to foolish lengths for his lady-love Peach...
    -Will they go find a cure? Npope, but he;ll have his dude the MAgiKoopa find a cure with MAGIC so it;s all good.



  6. #6
    Fin Sahrot Dovahkodaav
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    Well, Kirby of course.

    - Transportation? - He flies by inhaling air.
    - Protection? - He's Kirby, he will swallow danger.
    - Get nourishment? - See: He's Kirby
    - Setbacks? - He likes to scavenge for secrets and makes things a higher difficulty as a result.
    - Find a cure? - If Kirby collaborated with Gordan Freeman after swallowing a zombie, he could probably formulate a vaccine.

  7. #7
    Trolls Softly
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    Mega Man X - Ultimate Armor

    -Transportation - Nova Crush, teleportation, dashing.
    -What means of protection - Nova Crush, huge-ass blaster, just about any weapon you'd need
    -Able to get nourishment - doesn't need it, he's a fuckin' robot.
    -Any setbacks, like weaknesses - um... spikes?
    -Will they go find a cure - Hell yeah, man. He's a hero for sure. He'll whine a bit, but still.

  8. #8
    [Level 3: Humanoid] Zayle's Avatar
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    The Prince! You know, the one who can control time.

    - Haste. He'll run everywhere before the zombies know he's there.
    - If he gets killed, he can just unkill himself. If he gets zombie'd, well, we're doomed.
    - Nourishment? When the apocalypse starts, he'll go back and make sure that he has a big stash of food before it starts.
    - Like X above, he'd better hope the zombies aren't setting up spike traps.
    - Cure? No, he'll just kill them all.

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    Mighty Hatman knows fuck all about videogames.
    Gordon Freeman has a pipe?. Fuck outta here, nigga.

    The Prince (PoP 2008)
    Transportation-Wall claw.
    Protection-A shamsir blade. If he dies, Elika will come out of nowhere and save him
    Nourishment-he'll stock up
    Setbacks-Unlike Sands of Lame Prince, fuck spikes. Long falls, however...
    Cure-Sever the tree of Ormazd, unleashing Ahriman, and killing Ahriman at the cost of letting Erika die, sever tree again, rinse repeat. Better than zombies!

  10. #10
    [Level 5: Mech]
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    Wait, Byronic Man knows fuckall as well.

  11. #11
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    Kratos from God of War could survive a zombie apocalypse. He's just that good.

  12. #12
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    Nathan Drake

    -Transportation? - Well, he can drive stuff
    -What means of protection? - He can climb. Zombies can't climb.
    -Able to get nourishment? - Well, he can go around for hours without eating anything...
    -Any setbacks, like weaknesses? - If you don't time his jumps on time, he may fall and die.
    -Will they go find a cure? - He already has a cure, since he's got regenerative health.

  13. #13
    Beast Master ZombiePlatypus's Avatar
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    I think I win with Bowser, King of the Koopas.

  14. #14
    Tanooki Suit Mario, y'all.

    He can fly, bash things with his tail or jump on then and if surrounded, he can turn to a statue. Zombies don't eat stone. This will also allow him to withstand hunger, as statues don't get hungry.

  15. #15
    [Level 5: Mech]
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    Earthworm Jim
    -Rocket Booster
    -Plasma pistol
    -Worms eat dirt
    -Considering he can just live underground if he loses his suit, no. Also, Crows.
    -Nah, he's a worm! He'd just leave earth.

  16. #16
    [Level 5: Mech]
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    Quote Originally Posted by Polite Gentleman View Post
    Nathan Drake

    -Transportation? - Well, he can drive stuff
    -What means of protection? - He can climb. Zombies can't climb.
    -Able to get nourishment? - Well, he can go around for hours without eating anything...
    -Any setbacks, like weaknesses? - If you don't time his jumps on time, he may fall and die.
    -Will they go find a cure? - He already has a cure, since he's got regenerative health.
    Uhm......yeah Zombies can climb. 90% of all zombie culture says so.

  17. #17
    Beast Master ZombiePlatypus's Avatar
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    Romero or "classic" zombies can't. Nu-zombies can.

  18. #18
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    I'm old school, dawg.

  19. #19
    That's not a knife...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Epic-KxDtoid View Post
    Mighty Hatman knows fuck all about videogames.
    Gordon Freeman has a pipe?. Fuck outta here, nigga.

    The Prince (PoP 2008)
    Transportation-Wall claw.
    Protection-A shamsir blade. If he dies, Elika will come out of nowhere and save him
    Nourishment-he'll stock up
    Setbacks-Unlike Sands of Lame Prince, fuck spikes. Long falls, however...
    Cure-Sever the tree of Ormazd, unleashing Ahriman, and killing Ahriman at the cost of letting Erika die, sever tree again, rinse repeat. Better than zombies!
    Quote Originally Posted by Epic-KxDtoid View Post
    Wait, Byronic Man knows fuckall as well.
    Pipe = penis.

    Or something. I can't be arsed correcting people.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Epic-KxDtoid View Post
    Wait, Byronic Man knows fuckall as well.
    *comical trumpet noises*

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