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Thread: Date with a Dtoider

  1. #1
    This? This right here? This is why I don't venture into the forums. Mr Andy Dixon's Avatar
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    Date with a Dtoider

    Let's play pretend! Describe how you imagine your date with another Dtoider would go!

    Here are the rules:

    1) Be nice. Don't treat this as an opportunity to say something mean and/or crude about somebody who might not appreciate it.
    2) Be nice! Seriously. Let's keep this fun

    Here's my take...



    I knock twice on the door of the van, anxious to gather my date and hit the road. Pulling my robe tighter around me, I watch as a mangy cat feasts on a dead dog behind the dumpster a few yards away. An ambulance siren echoes down the alleyway.

    "Just a minute!" I hear from inside the van. "I'm putting on my shoes!"

    Hm. Sounds husky. I think.

    I kick at the puddle beneath my feet, debating whether to just turn tail and forget about the entire thing. What kind of woman lives in a van in an alleyway? I wonder. Fucking Craigslist.

    As if reading my thoughts, the door slides open and I raise a hand to shield my eyes against the fluorescent light I'm now bathed in.

    "Ready!" my date exclaims.

    I lower my hand as my eyes adjust to the glow. Inside the van is man. A hairy man. A very, very hairy man.

    Wearing nothing but shoes.

    "Let's do this thing, sugar tits" the man orders.

    I'm no longer in control of myself. The man takes my hand and leads me into the van as the rain begins to fall harder, ticking against the metal roof. As I step inside, I mumble with what little will I can muster:

    "Who... who are you?" I ask.

    "You can call me PappaDukes," he says. "And your name is Number 93."



    He slams the door closed. The cat behind the dumpster perks its ears up at the sudden thud, then licks its paws and wipes dog bits from its whiskers.

    The rain keeps falling.

    THE END
    Last edited by Mr Andy Dixon; 10-27-2011 at 11:19 AM.

  2. #2
    THE MR.E BIRD
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    JJMcCallum rapes me.

    That's all.

  3. #3
    MATRiX
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    That was so fucking hot.


  4. #4
    Pow! Right in the kisser!
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    I don't remember wearing any shoes...

  5. #5
    Pow! Right in the kisser!
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    Also, I don't believe I gave you expressed written consent to use my likeness in such a vulgar, demeaning way.







































    And I love you all the more for it!

  6. #6
    King of Ties 'n' Gifs 'n' Shit
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    I sit down in some crummy bar just off the number 9 and the bartender slides a drink my way. I look up in confusion and the bartender just nods his head to the corner.

    As I peer to the side I see some blonde number on her phone, I lift my drink smile her way and take a sip. Before I have a chance to turn my head I see a man stand up from behind the shadows, must have been sitting behind Blondy.

    The man approaches me.

    "Hi my name is Mr. Andy Dixon"............

    I wake up 3 days later, naked, in some cheap motel and I can barley walk, feels like a bus rear-ended me.

    The end.

  7. #7
    Pwnd
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    I feel this is a good venue for everyone to vent out their homolust for one another.

    I like it.

  8. #8
    Pow! Right in the kisser!
    PappaDukes's Avatar
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    I didn't even ask for a date. I didn't have to. It was just "meant to be", as they say. The wind whispered "Gobun", like so many angels belting out the pledge of allegiance.

    We started it off in all the right ways, by getting matching "SEX" tattoos on our chests.

    And to soothe the throbbing pains from the new ink, we hopped on down to the local watering hole.

    After 16 corona buckets, 40 packs of parliaments, and enough country line dancing to choke a donkey, we stumbled to what I believed to be, a local park.

    We kicked a couple old people off of a bench, and held each other, while I vomited blood and nearly choked to death on my own bile.

    I woke to find the most handsome man, with dried bits of my vomit smeared over the most beautiful, shimmering lips I have ever laid eyes on.

    BEST.DATE.EVER

  9. #9
    Princess Tiny feet
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    I WANA PLAY

  10. #10
    Pow! Right in the kisser!
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    You don't have to ask, silly!

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Tarvu View Post
    JJMcCallum rapes me.

    That's all.
    *all of us

  12. #12
    Beast Master
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    This will not end well.

  13. #13
    Beast Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by mollygos View Post
    It would begin and end with cheeseburgers and sex crimes.
    Okay, it might end well.

  14. #14
    Honkey Kong
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    I like where this thread is going.

  15. #15
    Pwnd
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    Wait, so we can date any Dtoider we want? I call dibs on Caiters. She seems like a really nice person.

    ...

    yes i'm being creepy and it's totally on purpose

  16. #16
    Pwnd
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  17. #17
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    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by Sir Legendhead; 10-26-2011 at 06:19 PM. Reason: attached thumbnail. ;)

  18. #18
    I want to have a date with Jim Sterling, just to know what it'd be like.

  19. #19
    Pwnd
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mighty Hatman View Post
    I want to have a date with Jim Sterling, just to know what it'd be like.
    He's a 4/10.

    J/k, Jim is good people in my book.

  20. #20
    Pow! Right in the kisser!
    PappaDukes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Revuhlooshun View Post
    He's a 4.5/10.

    J/k, Jim is good people in my book.
    Fixed.

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