Willem Dafoe OFFICIAL thread

**Avalon** · 07-07-2011, 11:26 AM

The Trap-a-Holic (dir. Roman Polanski)

In this stunning, true-to-life biopic, Willem Dafoe gives a breathtaking performance as rapper Brandon McCartney, otherwise known as Lil B The Based God. Watch The Based God's rise to fame and power on his journey to become to most #based rapper alive. Witness his turbulent friendship and rivalry with fellow rapper Soulja Boy (Woody Harrelson) as the two learn the true meaning and value of friendship. An all-American success story for the 21st century. Also starring Mike Tyson as himself.

**randombullseye** · 07-09-2011, 12:25 PM

Lance Henrickson and Willem Dafoe team up in a movie to fight against Morgan Freeman, Steve Buscemi, or James Woods who are for some reason bad guys. Possibly having all three of them, team up against Dafoe and Henrickson in a movie where the issue is somehow abortion rights, and takes place in a not to distant future where laser cops and space hookers are a thing.

**DeadMan** · 07-10-2011, 02:07 AM

Ok, so remember How to Train Your Dragon? Well, this is a reimagining of that with Willem Dafoe as Toothless the dragon. He will actually talk, not just make weird noises.

It will start out with the same premise: Viking village under constant attack by dragons, Hiccup is incredibly useless, takes down the Nightfury then lets him go. But when he goes to look at it in the valley.... hole.... thing, Toothless actually talks. He uses Hiccup to weaken the defenses of the village so that it would be easier for the next dragon attack to wipe out the village.

**Ev777** · 07-10-2011, 01:51 PM

But in all seriousness Willem Dafoe stars as 50 Cent and all of G-Unit in Get Rich or Die Tryin' 2. In which, Willem is sent to perform his delightful rap songs in a Middle Eastern country. When the promoter realizes he doesn't have the 10 million promised, he gives Willem and G-Unit a diamond and pearl encrusted skull instead. Just then, a militant group of evildoers steals the skull, prompting Willem to get it back under any circumstances.

**randombullseye** · 07-13-2011, 11:59 AM

Malcom Mcdowell is hitler with a time machine, and only Lance Henrickson whose a werewolf and his gay vampire love, Willem Dafoe, can stop him from stealing the Titantic.

**I Palindrome I** · 07-18-2011, 04:09 PM

Warning: this idea will either disgust you to your very core with its juvenile humor and offensive premise, or will have you in stitches laughing. It's also rather long, but bare with me. If you do find yourself disgusted, blame Noir cos he directed me here inadvertently.

A movie that stars Tom Hanks, an animal researcher who is on the brink of making a world-changing discovery and Willem Dafoe, an alien who has been teleported to the planet Earth. Dafoe shows up like the terminator, naked and whatnot. As an alien, he has super-human strength and has access to alien technology (shoved up his bum). The only problem is, he’s mentally deficient (mongoloid, basically). Tom Hanks’s character finds him in the streets, after Dafoe’s character has brutally murdered everybody in a bar after they let him drink some alcohol (unbeknownst to Hanks), and takes him home. The white lab coat that Hanks is wearing is similar to the vestments of fierce warriors among Dafoe’s alien race, which is why Dafoe doesn’t kill him immediately.

So basically, hijinks ensue as Hanks tries to rehabilitate him, thinking that he’s human and that he can teach him life skills. He can only do this while he’s home, however. During the day, Dafoe dicks around in Hanks’s house. Hanks ends up coming home and gazing upon scenes like Willem Dafoe wading around in a pool of shit (because Dafoe’s character has super-human shits), and, after Hanks has potty-trained Dafoe, another day where Dafoe is sodomizing Hanks’s pet chimpanzee, Nathaniel. Occasionally, Dafoe will be acting out a scene from one of his movies, except in a mongoloid dialect. In most every scene where there’s a window, you can see Danny DeVito either pressing his body against the window and making kissing/tonguing gestures or jacking off.

Dafoe progressively learns some human habits and Hanks feels that he can take him out in public. Hanks and Dafoe go to the beach where Hanks plays fetch with Dafoe and lets him swim in a little inner tube. Dafoe runs into some smokin’ beach babes and proceeds to furiously dry hump them and cut their breasts off, offering them as some sort of trophy/fruit to Hanks. Hanks is now an accomplice to murder and has to GTFO the beach.
Since he is a fugitive, Hanks goes to the research lab where he works, packs up all of his materials, and sets up in his house. Hanks withdraws all of his money from the bank and buys a van, for whenever the police show up. When they do show up, they see a bearded Tom Hanks tinkering with Dafoe’s arse-satellite-dish. Dafoe screams in horror, retracts the dish, and begins feasting upon the flesh of the policemen. One of them manages to hide and survive as Dafoe and Hanks escape in the van, which has been equipped with its own lab.

The military have now been informed of this and want access to the alien technology. Eventually, they end up at a standoff at the edge of a cliff facing the sea. The military, as well as local residents have them surrounded. Tom Hanks makes a compelling, heart-wrenching speech about how Dafoe is more innocent than anyone and how he only wanted a friend. Hanks claims that they are the real monsters for alienating this… alien. A commander tries to shoot Dafoe, but Hanks dives in the way and takes the bullet. In Hanks’s dying moments, he reaches into his labcoat pocket and gives Dafoe a little vial filled with a serum that he had been developing since before he met Dafoe. Dafoe imbibes it and becomes normal (at least by alien standards). He remembers how to make the call to his mothership using has arse-satellite-dish, does so, and is lifted up by the tractor beam into the ship. The mothership then proceeds to destroy the planet, as Dafoe never really was an exile, just a scout.

There you have it, folks. Feel free to add other situations that could be hilarious such as mongoloid-Dafoe trying to paint or him throwing the table through the roof while Hanks feeds him dinner.

**Sir Legendhead** · 07-19-2011, 04:47 AM

Willem Dafoe: MANLY MAN

**randombullseye** · 07-21-2011, 12:41 PM

In a movie where Willem Dafoe is god, he decides to destroy the world after a little girl asks for a unicorn and he laments that man killed his beloved unicorns thousands of years ago. Imagine a solid hour of Willem Dafoe and special effects.

Only Lucifer, played by Chris Rock can convince him to love again.

And Michael Ironside is in the movie as a Patton-esque American general, who declares war on heaven.

**nekobun** · 07-24-2011, 09:08 PM

I'll admit this was in part inspired by Muddy Buddy, particularly the bits re: Innerspace and Willem wanting to totally fuck Mila Kunis' character, but I think, in the end, it stands well enough on its own. Here goes:

Zooey Deschanel plays an up-and-coming young songstress, with Willem Dafoe as her kind-hearted but protective and slightly domineering manager. Zooey's character is diagnosed with malignant, incurable throat cancer, and the only way to save her life is emergency surgery that would destroy her vocal chords, and subsequently, her career. Her manager, upon hearing this news via a cell phone call, is furious, to the point he stops paying attention to the road and is killed in a horrible accident.

Following the initial surgery, Zooey awakens, mute, but presented with a new ray of hope - an organ donor's voicebox was recovered, intact, and an experimental technique could possibly restore her ability to speak, and possibly even sing, once more. She agrees, singing being her entire life, not knowing that the donor in question was her manager, played by Willem. She also has no idea that, by some miracle, his soul survived and is still bound to those same vocal chords, and upon the surgery's success, has found a new home sharing her body.

After learning of her manager and mentor's death and following a period of mourning, Zooey starts to realize she is not alone in her body, and while her voice is starting to regain its original range, it suddenly becomes prone to jumping to much deeper tones without warning or intent. Slowly, through dreams and later, more intense internal dialogues, the truth is revealed, and Willem and Zooey must learn to harmonize (PUNS, BITCHES) in order to rebuild her career, and to take it even further with her effective vocal range now doubled thanks to Willem's presence.

And while we're at it, I may suggest throwing in Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow, subbing the singing career for moonlighting in karaoke, and effectively making a sequel to Duets. Either way, the title of this cinematic triumph?

(wait for it)

Who's In My Mouth?

**Mechman** · 07-25-2011, 02:13 AM

Willem Dafoe and Christopher Walken costar as dueling serial killers who dress as clowns, each attempting to top the other one in media coverage.
It's called "Just try to get to sleep tonight"

**Avykins** · 08-22-2011, 07:31 AM

Dawn of the Dead remake. I cant decide which but when you get bitten you either become Willem Dafoe completely or you just get Dafoey...
Simple but beautiful. Dawn of the Dafoe/Dafoe of the Dead.
If you would prefer a RE style one then fine. Just replace the Licker with Gary Busey and the dogs with rabid Danny DeVitos.

Originally Posted by Mechman

Willem Dafoe and Christopher Walken costar as dueling serial killers who dress as clowns, each attempting to top the other one in media coverage.
It's called "Just try to get to sleep tonight"

Cant sleep.

Clown will eat me!

**Avalon** · 08-23-2011, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by nekobun

I'll admit this was in part inspired by Muddy Buddy, particularly the bits re: Innerspace and Willem wanting to totally fuck Mila Kunis' character, but I think, in the end, it stands well enough on its own. Here goes:

Zooey Deschanel plays an up-and-coming young songstress, with Willem Dafoe as her kind-hearted but protective and slightly domineering manager. Zooey's character is diagnosed with malignant, incurable throat cancer, and the only way to save her life is emergency surgery that would destroy her vocal chords, and subsequently, her career. Her manager, upon hearing this news via a cell phone call, is furious, to the point he stops paying attention to the road and is killed in a horrible accident.

Following the initial surgery, Zooey awakens, mute, but presented with a new ray of hope - an organ donor's voicebox was recovered, intact, and an experimental technique could possibly restore her ability to speak, and possibly even sing, once more. She agrees, singing being her entire life, not knowing that the donor in question was her manager, played by Willem. She also has no idea that, by some miracle, his soul survived and is still bound to those same vocal chords, and upon the surgery's success, has found a new home sharing her body.

After learning of her manager and mentor's death and following a period of mourning, Zooey starts to realize she is not alone in her body, and while her voice is starting to regain its original range, it suddenly becomes prone to jumping to much deeper tones without warning or intent. Slowly, through dreams and later, more intense internal dialogues, the truth is revealed, and Willem and Zooey must learn to harmonize (PUNS, BITCHES) in order to rebuild her career, and to take it even further with her effective vocal range now doubled thanks to Willem's presence.

And while we're at it, I may suggest throwing in Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow, subbing the singing career for moonlighting in karaoke, and effectively making a sequel to Duets. Either way, the title of this cinematic triumph?

(wait for it)

Who's In My Mouth?

I was imagining the trailer as I read it and Huey Lewis started playing by the 3rd paragraph.

A great family comedy in the vein of "Little Danson Man" starring Ted Danson.

**randombullseye** · 12-22-2011, 12:24 PM

A movie where Willem Dafoe is completely naked.

**Dapperdespot** · 12-26-2011, 05:51 PM

Willlem Dafoe in the Sequel to The Last Temptation of Christ. It's the second coming of Jesus, and he is reborn as a black girl in the inner city of Chicago. Think precious. systematically abused and poor, 'he' struggles to survive in a bleak existence. Forced to sell his body, he befriends a john played by Richard Gere and then the movie becomes a sequel to Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts is replaced with Willem Dafoe in black face. The Last Temptation of Pretty Woman 2: The Fight for Skull Island will break all records.

**Lord Of Lizards.** · 03-23-2012, 06:16 PM

My idea for a William Dafoe film would consist of William starring in a remake of "Shock Treatment"(The follow up "Hit" to Rocky Horror.) which would have Richard O'brian's character's head edited out and William's put over it. Of course William would re-record all of Richard's lines. Nell Campbell's lines would be dubbed over by Danny Devito,Obviously.
EVERYTHING ELSE WOULD STAY THE SAME.
This is why Hollywood would benefit from listening to me.

**Back Breaker** · 04-01-2012, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by Noir

William Defoe vs Nicolas Cage. Movie of the century. It came to me yesterday after watching the "IT WAS A FIREFIGHT" scene from Boondock Saints. Seriously, who doesn't want to see this and this go at it? I don't care how they go at it. Love movie, action movie, horror movie. Just have them star in a movie together where they both hate each other. My only regret is that I couldn't find a compilation of William Defoe scenes.

How the hell is Cage losing his shit lol?

**asatiir** · 05-24-2012, 12:39 AM

Willem Dafoe plays the role of homeless guy that believes he has a sixth sense to predict people's deaths. This only works whenever someone passes by him when he's asleep, Dafoe sees it in a nightmare where he (DaFoe) is in the victim's spot before the reason of death, so he wakes up startled, rambling and yelling loudly in the face of the victim. At first it's just plain fear, but as he realizes the messages he gets in his dreams, he wakes up screaming and clinging on the person who is about to die, accidentally leading the victim to their death.

So DaFoe jumps into the face of the would be victim who is startled and disturbed by a creepy homeless guy with super glued beard (like the one in Daybreakers), victim panics and runs into the spot where their death takes place. The cops get suspicious of the strands of greasy super glued hair on the bodies of the victims. Detective (Samuel L Jackson) and his partner (Brandon Frasier) are trying to track him down after the current suspicion.

I couldn't think of anything further than that, I wonder if anyone can stretch it out better, it would be called The Caveman's Valentine 2: Fire's Wrath