Try not to be so hard on yourself, Glow. I'm sure you have brilliant qualities that other girls would kill for. You just haven't meet the right person yet.
She might have, there's nothing to go on at all. It was an overnight change. People just think that's the most plausible.
But yes she moved on that same night it seems.
I am a good gf ;_; Just hate waking up and going to bed alone. I miss snuggles. Anyway this won't leave me for a while. Cheers for talking. Sleep time.
Hopefully you'll be back in the game soon. Have a good night.
The bit I've highlighted, you and me both with that.
Although having that in my life is what I want more than anything, I don't want to put myself into someone's life, I don't want to break another person's heart. I had a lovely lady who loved me like no other could but something didn't feel right, or I'm just fucked in the head for 'wanting to be alone' as I put it at the time. Then I rebound soon after and get involved quickly with someone who I didn't realise fully (or was blind to it) as to how damaged they were. I thought they were everything, moved out of my home and in with them, but their issues took a massive toll over time, I thought I could be strong enough for both of us. I was wrong and ended up damaging myself a lot more than I needed, especially as I'd recently come out of and was still recovering from a terrible spell of depression.
Hope you get a good night's sleep, or have done if you wake to read this tomorrow.
So my depressing thing of the day is that I got home from Uni earlier to find that one of my own cats (not any of the 18 kittens) has had a stroke. The vet can't seem her until the morning and told me what to do in the meantime, but I can't stop crying. I laid down with her not too long ago and she seems like she's not even here anymore. She can't see me at all. I waved my hand right in front of her eyes and got no reaction. Also, this cat, without fail, arches her back and does a short purr when you touch a specific part of her back, she's always been sensitive at that point. I got nothing. Her muscles didn't even react, which they normally do. I tickled her paws, nothing. Just.. nothing. All she's done is move slowly to another side of the room and lay in an odd position. I don't know what happened. She was fine this morning, I went about my normal business, saw her before I went to school and mentally noted that she was laying a bit odd, but assumed it was because the sun was out and on that part of the carpet.. So whatever happened, it happened around midday. I am so upset, I fucking adore this cat so much and I can't bare to see her like this. I just hope she's not in any pain right now. She recently had surgery to remove a cancerous ear, and I'm praying it's not spread and somehow caused this by, I dunno, reaching the brain or something. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Going to go cry again now >_>
Was supposed to go look at an apartment with my friend at noon. Got a text at nine pushing it back to one. Got a text at 12:15 canceling because he got stuck with a shift at work. At four o'clock.
Feels like a dodge, but maybe he was just hungover.
Also, you hold yourself responsible that you don't get told the truth? If at all, your responsibility lies in choosing the same women over and over again who don't treat you like they should. Many people struggle with choosing very similar partners over and over again, slowly getting a feeling over time which expectations to drop and which new ones to raise.
Just my cents, hope you're feeling better.
Being the person you cheat with is shit too. One of the basic rules in life is: never be the affair.
I actually let them be with me tonight because there was a tempest going on, rain slashing on the windows, and one of them was meowing hard because of fear. So I let them in, and it felt different than the last times, because of me. Usually, I'd get paranoid that they'll do stupid shit while I'm sleeping. But today, I held on to the thought you guys gave me, that they want to be in here not because the room is so great, but because I'm here. And with that, I could accept the noise they made and didn't care what exactly they were doing. It still took me a little more time to fall asleep, but it was no problem. It went great, and I think, when I get more used to it, it will work even better.
Also, good to hear about your cats. Hoping th ebest. My little bastard slept under the blanket tonight because of the storm, usually never does that.
Aww, cats really don't like storms.
Update: Second night now that I'm trying to let them be inside my room, wish me luck, fingers crossed.
Last edited by domanz; 10-22-2014 at 05:51 PM.
I'm on a train trying not to cry and feeling repulsive. I think we should be given a birth choice to have brains and schtuff
On the brief meeting at Rezzed with Panza and Tarvu, I was a little fucked up due to my break up (okay, a lot fucked up), so wasn't truly myself, but I was also surprised that this is the lady that can sometimes say bad things about herself. It truly is unwarranted, but I know from my own experience of self-deprecation, when you're in a bad place, no amount of positive comments from others is going to help. That's not going to stop me or others from saying them though, because surely every little thing helps (I hope so anyway), even if it's just some positive reinforcement from a bellend like me on an Internet forum.
Last edited by Lumpommer; 10-25-2014 at 09:09 AM.