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Thread: Depression Thread - What takes you out of the dumps and what's been bugging you?

  1. #4821
    Kraut Kontrol OpiumHerz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gatsby View Post
    It's kinda annoying how people respond to you when you're depressed. Had a really long shift today and felt a mood kinda hit me midway. Shit was rough, but I was still doing my job well, tried to force a smile now and then, but honestly, it just sucks that I have to. I don't get why it's not acceptable to just be like, "I am depressed".

    People who don't have this disease just can't even comprehend what it feels like. They see your behavior and want to make it about them. "People think that you don't like them." Guess what, that is about the furthest thing from my "give a shit" meter in existence. It's not that I don't like them, maybe I do, maybe I don't. It's more like I'm so within my own head that they aren't even on my radar.

    Just a kind of rant. Good thing is that the money is piling in, so within a month I should have what I need to move out. Keep rooting for me folks.
    In my experience people don't want to make it about them, rather they want to change themselves to be likeable because they think the dismissive behaviour is caused by them, rather than being "natural" (for the lack of a better word here). But in the end, they want to help, they just don't really know how and thus try the ways they know. Not really something I would blame somebody for.

    That said, good to hear you're getting money together.

  2. #4822
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    Yeah but in the end, people make it about them. They feel helpless because they don't know how to help a depressed guy (who is usually less forgiving if you say crap like "it will get better soon" than your average joe) and they want to make it go away so they can feel good again. It's the same when someone starts crying, very few will really want to help the person, most just want the crying person to STFU so they are not negatively distracted anymore. Yes, it's human nature alright, and to be honest, it seems to suck quite often. But sometimes it doesn't, and these incident must be appreciated.

    I had another group therapy session yesterday and what happened there fits that context perfectly. I can't go into specifics because stuff that happens needs to be kept close, but several people were having a really bad time the last few weeks and there were several crying incidents.
    In between, we talked about how that makes us feel, how we want to help but don't know how, and most importantly, how everyone should acknowledge what they are doing to try and help in the moment, and that overreaching and doing something you're not comfortable with doing is not the way to go.
    Often, just being there and listening and not being afraid of just soaking up all what's being said goes a long way.

    Or sometimes, like yesterday, you'll be accused of not helping if you just listen, because some people still believe there is a secret magic trick out there that will instantly solve your life problems, and me, other people and especially psychotherapists are just too snob to share it with everyone. Huh.

  3. #4823
    [Level 10: Lobster Milkshake]
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    Quote Originally Posted by OpiumHerz View Post
    In my experience people don't want to make it about them, rather they want to change themselves to be likeable because they think the dismissive behaviour is caused by them, rather than being "natural" (for the lack of a better word here). But in the end, they want to help, they just don't really know how and thus try the ways they know. Not really something I would blame somebody for.

    That said, good to hear you're getting money together.
    Yeah, but that's totally them making it about themselves because they assume I'm only this way in response to something they've done, and thus they think it's up to THEM to do something about it. At one of my prior jobs, I was lucky enough to work with some ladies who knew I was depressed, but didn't be like WHAT'S WRONG MAN, SMILE YOU FOOL, they would just naturally make me smile through befriending me and gaining my kindness.

    I worked with nurses and all, so I think they were more savy as far as how to approach it. Just for the record, the right way to approach it is to not act like the person is a burden for feeling the way they feel. Yeah, I know I'm not that fun to work with when I could easily go 9 hours without saying a single word, but I really don't care. I'm just there to make my money, and while I'm making good money, I'm not making good enough money to suck up or try manipulate my own feelings.

    Quote Originally Posted by domanz View Post
    Yeah but in the end, people make it about them. They feel helpless because they don't know how to help a depressed guy (who is usually less forgiving if you say crap like "it will get better soon" than your average joe) and they want to make it go away so they can feel good again. It's the same when someone starts crying, very few will really want to help the person, most just want the crying person to STFU so they are not negatively distracted anymore. Yes, it's human nature alright, and to be honest, it seems to suck quite often. But sometimes it doesn't, and these incident must be appreciated.

    I had another group therapy session yesterday and what happened there fits that context perfectly. I can't go into specifics because stuff that happens needs to be kept close, but several people were having a really bad time the last few weeks and there were several crying incidents.
    In between, we talked about how that makes us feel, how we want to help but don't know how, and most importantly, how everyone should acknowledge what they are doing to try and help in the moment, and that overreaching and doing something you're not comfortable with doing is not the way to go.
    Often, just being there and listening and not being afraid of just soaking up all what's being said goes a long way.

    Or sometimes, like yesterday, you'll be accused of not helping if you just listen, because some people still believe there is a secret magic trick out there that will instantly solve your life problems, and me, other people and especially psychotherapists are just too snob to share it with everyone. Huh.
    Yeah, that's the thing. Most people who act like they "care" about your depression don't actually think you have depression. They think you're just being melodramatic about something like a girlfriend or some shit, so they want in on the gossip or whatever. They don't actually want to hear anything truly fucked up or a long sob story of everything that's wrong in your life and if you tell them that, they'll cut you out. That's generally why I shut people out when I can tell they aren't sincere, it's just like, trust me, you don't want to know and it's none of your business anyway.

    I've thought about doing the groups. I started seeing a therapist/counselor, not sure what he is. I know that talking to an actual professional felt very cathartic. They're trying to push me towards groups but I feel apprehensive towards doing so.

  4. #4824
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    Groups can be great. It depends on the composition of the members and of course on the therapists, but I would suggest you give it a try. Usually, you can try it out once before you enter a contract. This will only be a taste for the greatness of the group dynamic that might develop,but you will be able to judge if you can co-exist with the participants.

    When you feel ready, try it out. You will always be cautious, but at some point, you might estimate the profit higher than the apprehension you feel.

  5. #4825
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    I have enough self-awareness to know why someone wouldn't want to be friends with or around a depressed person. That's why I tend to isolate myself and shut down IRL which, unfortunately, sometimes has the side effect of irritating the people around you even more. It's sort of a lose-lose situation, which really sucks. It's like, "Talk to me, but don't tell me too much or tell me anything that might bum me out."

  6. #4826
    [Level 8: Skynet] King Zelos's Avatar
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    I don't know the first thing about depression. I just hope Gats gets through it and wish him and everyone else with depression the best of luck.

  7. #4827
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    I keep going back and forth on whether or not I should move in with my friend. A few weeks ago I was really keen on the idea. Last week I told him I was leaning more towards "no". The other night I mentioned I still wasn't 100% sure about it and he just laughed. I'm torn between wanting to preserve our friendship and stay away and wanting to be a good friend and make things easier for him.

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