EDIT: There was some other shit here, but this shit is more important to me.
You know what? I was wrong for saying that shit about your brother. I went too far. I apologize, Shane. I don't regret much shit in life, but I do regret making that comment, even if it was to make a point. The ends don't justify the means, and I'm at fault for forgetting that.
What can I say? I'm a piece of shit at heart. I'd still like to sit down and talk though, to address the stuff lingering between us.
Last edited by Revuhlooshun; 02-26-2013 at 11:07 PM.
Guys this is getting a little too heated for the general public and really doesn't need to be in this thread where people already feel shitty. Take it to PM's please.
Hope a good outcome/solution comes from all of this Analoge.
I've no idea if I'm venting anger or sad...I think it's more the latter. I go home for a week to get some R&R, come back and the very first day 3 major incidents occur to overtake them and cause heartache and stress. I should clearly just never leave people alone. But right now I feel extremely alone.
Sorry to hear that GB, I hope all is sorted soon for you.
Sometimes, when everything piles on what should lead to anger will end up making you upset because there's just too much strain to bear and you'll buckle to it's weight.
Just remember you're never alone, I've felt that countless times and I always end up being wrong and grateful that I am. I may not have any answers, but if you need someome to talk to I'll always be about one way or another.
My best friend is going through a ton of shit the past couple months. It makes me sad that she has to deal with all this. Life is just fucked up. fucked up
I ran out of Coca-Cola and only have pepsi left now.
I ran out of both, and the only other soda I had went flat. I'm also feeling stressed out and lonely, but the thirst is what is annoying me at the moment.
Today is probably the 3rd saddest day of my life after my Grandma dying and when we had to put my 1st dog down. I was one of the 5 grand prize winners of the front page contest to win a 3-day badge to PAX East. However, my wife and I are about a week away from closing on our very first house, so I can't be making any big purchases right now. Big purchases like a round-trip ticket to Boston from Austin, a hotel room for 2 nights on short notice, food and any other stuff that I would probably be buying while I was there. What sucks is that this would have been my first major gaming convention, let alone my first PAX (I did go to RTX this past year, but it wasn't all that big).
So to hear that nealb! Sucks when all those grown up things get in the way of games and fun. But on the bright side you're closing on a house - you own house! That's awesome and I'm jealous.
Two of my puppies are pretty sick right now. Over the weekend, I starting finding grass-filled vomit in the backyard. My full grown Lab wasn't eating much of her food. Then I caught one of my roommates' dogs vomiting up some opaque liquid and grass. Then two of my puppies. Brick vomited off and on for a day but after that was largely okay. Nasty diarrhea but otherwise energetic.
Bootsy, who is the runt of the litter, got hit really bad. Wasn't interested in eating or drinking for about 24 hours. I have all the puppies on a payment plan through a Banfield clinic in the PetSmart up the road (unlimited free office visits plus shots and spaying/neutering for a flat monthly rate) but by the time Bootsy started looking really bad, it was after hours on a Sunday. I sat down to eat dinner and when I went to look for Bootsy afterwards, she was gone. I live in a house with the backyard securely walled up so I couldn't work out where she disappeared to and it was after nightfall so my roommates and I were running around the house, as well as outside with flashlights, trying to figure out where she went. After about fifteen minutes, I found her hiding behind a shelf in a backroom panting pretty hard and clearly in a lot of pain.
The way she was acting, I couldn't afford to wait until the morning to take her to the Banfield, so off to the 24 hour Pet ER we went. Turned out to be a fucking fruitless endeavor and I ended up spending $250 for an inconclusive diagnosis. They wanted well over $500 for blood work and hospitalization but I just don't have that kind of money. (I probably would have but Brick took a shot to the eyeball while playing with his sisters a couple of weeks ago and it's been a steady stream of money for meds and tests since then to make sure there was no permanent damage.) I had to opt for the "outpatient" treatment which is basically "wait and see." They injected her with some fluids for hydration, took all my money and we went home.
I couldn't call out of work the next day without getting written up, so I had to leave Bootsy there with a bowl of water near her head (she was barely moving at this point) and head to work. Cue eight hours of tension and worry and depression. My roommate picked a great time to stop answering his phone so I couldn't get any updates on her condition, which just made things worse.
I finally make it home. I open the door... and she's sitting there wagging her tail at me.
The worst seems to be over. I'm feeding Brick and Bootsy rice and boiled chicken to help them get their strength back without upsetting their stomach. I'm going to pick up some Pedialyte to keep them hydrated and whatnot. It's just a matter of being diligent until they kick whatever got to them.
I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what they got into. The only plants in the backyard are a rosebush, a cactus, and a fig tree that hasn't bloomed yet. The puppies are going in for their last round of booster shots at the end of the week, so they've already gotten their rabies/parvo/distemper shots... and, anyway, the adult dogs were kinda sick too, so I doubt it's any of those. I'm at a loss. Unless they tried eating poo but I'm feeding them twice a day and giving them treats to gnaw on as well so they shouldn't be THAT hungry. I dunno.
Maceo is the only puppy not illin' right now. Mostly she just seems to be confused why her siblings won't play with her.
Dogs, man. I love 'em to death but, holy shit, is it stressful.
^Glad your puppies are ok.
Really upset. Don't see it ending. I'm a failure or destroyer of everything I touch. I can't shake that I've done more harm than good in this world, no matter how upright my intentions are. Everything turns to shit. Now I've failed one of the most important things in my life: my child. In all honesty I want nothing more than to slip into oblivion right now. Drinking, drugs, a bullet... I just don't give a fuck anymore. I don't get to be a selfish cunt though. Not an option but I wonder how long until I crack and one of those becomes an option. The world is pressing down and I'm losing the fucking will to push back. I've been pushing for 31 years and heavily the past 2. It's almost fascinating to see what will finally break me. I'm so fucking stubborn and have been through and seen so much, I really can't imagine what will do it, but right now is the closest I've ever been. Jesus Christ... my baby. All I know is someone is going to die before I give in and not me or mine. I failed them once now, not again.
First three calls of the day make you feel like the smallest person in the world. Sick and tired of this bullshit, the abuse customers give usually washes off me but it's gone on too long and is getting to me a lot more than it should.
Add to this I've had thoughts about not furthering my education when I had the chance, I got too used to full-time wages after college and have been stuck in dead-end office jobs since. My own fault and a lot of things I can do about it, just not having the balls at the moment to pursue that or a new job. I was good in interviews, I can feed them any answer they want in the best way they want to hear it, but being in the same job for years where all you've had is knock backs puts a big dampener on your confidence.
Sorry you have shitty feels and times Edd.
I am extremely ill and flu ridden. This month has been kinda crazy. I went home for a week and the very first day back here I found out a massive fight happened in the house and then some issues regarding me and someone I've been seeing and care about a lot came out.
I then had to stop another fight, resolve the issue of someone leaving the house and so have to get a replacement tenant, going through the anguish of wondering what to do when you love someone as a friend and it's reciprocated but there's disagreements about the romantic aspect. Then I had chest pains and couldn't breathe.
Then I got this fucked up flu which everyone in the house has. I called off the relationship I was having, but we still ended up giving into urges and having sex one last time and now we're trying not to do that whilst being good friends. I live with this person it's hard to not snuggle and kiss them.
Now I have to go to the benefits people, when typing aches like fuck and hope I get paid as they stopped paying me against my knowledge middle of Feb, yet I've still signed on weekly since. Also got to ensure that our tenancy here is being renewed so we're not homeless.
It's all happening at once and I am shocked I've not gone grey or just...died.
a mopey ramble
been feeling so alone since the holidays. miss my family, miss my friends, miss knowing that certain things in my life were well...certain. other family members lying and saying mean things behind my back and then of course realizing that the color of my skin still matters to people. being treated 2nd class in my own family when they don't know any of the true story. also hate i that people like to tell me what i'm thinking and i'm just so tired of arguing i just agree because it's easier that way. if i'm doing what i'm suppose to do, i'm not going to flaunt it around, but if i don't, it get unnoticed and i get shit for it. always knowing that things will never change no matter how good things can get. gotta put on a fake smile when you know someone is lying to you, but of course, you don't want to make them feel bad.