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Thread: Depression Thread - What takes you out of the dumps and what's been bugging you?

  1. #3141
    Pwnd
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    You flame me, I flame you. That's all there is to it. You put kindness in, you'll get kindness out; you put fire in, you'll get fire out. It ain't personal -- hell, I really like you, Shane. I do feel a little betrayed by you though. Either we can have an escalation where we top one another and annoy everyone in the process, or we can sit down and hash this out personally. What I said was fucked up, and I'm willing to apologize for it if you're willing to meet me half way.

    And honestly, I've not really asked anyone to open up about anything or tell me any personal details. I asked what she was writing a paper on. Go ahead, don't open up to me, I have plenty of my own problems to worry about.

    I'm willing to talk if you are. And I'm willing to tell everyone I was wrong if you'll listen to what I have to say.

  2. #3142
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    ...

  3. #3143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Analoge View Post
    ...
    Yeah, what she said.

  4. #3144
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    EDIT: There was some other shit here, but this shit is more important to me.

    You know what? I was wrong for saying that shit about your brother. I went too far. I apologize, Shane. I don't regret much shit in life, but I do regret making that comment, even if it was to make a point. The ends don't justify the means, and I'm at fault for forgetting that.

    What can I say? I'm a piece of shit at heart. I'd still like to sit down and talk though, to address the stuff lingering between us.
    Last edited by Revuhlooshun; 02-26-2013 at 11:07 PM.

  5. #3145
    Guys this is getting a little too heated for the general public and really doesn't need to be in this thread where people already feel shitty. Take it to PM's please.

  6. #3146
    Quote Originally Posted by Analoge View Post
    ...

    My doctor is worried that I may have had a mini-stroke Thursday when I passed out in the middle of class. She took me off the testosterone blocker and put me on a patch-based estrogen that is less than what I was taking. She may as well have taken me off both, because if you're not blocking T, estrogen does nothing...

    Then I went to grab a bite before my laser appointment and was called "sir" by a burrito jockey despite being dressed femme as fuck in a skirt/hoodie combo. Then I went to my appointment and it hurt so bad when they did my face that I cried. Then yet another strange woman put lasers on my testicles and it was humiliating and awful and ick.

    Now I have to write at least two papers tonight and I can't concentrate because I'm so miserable.
    Jesus, that sounds horrendous. What's the difference between a stroke and a mini-stroke? There's no permanent damage I hope?

  7. #3147
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panzadolphin56 View Post
    Jesus, that sounds horrendous. What's the difference between a stroke and a mini-stroke? There's no permanent damage I hope?
    I have no idea. I'm going to get a second opinion, because having a shitload of testosterone in my blood for a week is going to drive me fucking crazy.

  8. #3148
    This thread makes me sad. Stay strong, everyone.

  9. #3149
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    Hope a good outcome/solution comes from all of this Analoge.

  10. #3150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    This thread makes me sad. Stay strong, everyone.
    Same feeling from myself. Keep loving and living folks.

  11. #3151
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    I've no idea if I'm venting anger or sad...I think it's more the latter. I go home for a week to get some R&R, come back and the very first day 3 major incidents occur to overtake them and cause heartache and stress. I should clearly just never leave people alone. But right now I feel extremely alone.

  12. #3152
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    Sorry to hear that GB, I hope all is sorted soon for you.

    Sometimes, when everything piles on what should lead to anger will end up making you upset because there's just too much strain to bear and you'll buckle to it's weight.

    Just remember you're never alone, I've felt that countless times and I always end up being wrong and grateful that I am. I may not have any answers, but if you need someome to talk to I'll always be about one way or another.

  13. #3153
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    My best friend is going through a ton of shit the past couple months. It makes me sad that she has to deal with all this. Life is just fucked up. fucked up

  14. 03-17-2013, 02:45 AM

  15. #3154
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    I ran out of Coca-Cola and only have pepsi left now.

  16. #3155
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    I ran out of both, and the only other soda I had went flat. I'm also feeling stressed out and lonely, but the thirst is what is annoying me at the moment.

  17. #3156
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    Today is probably the 3rd saddest day of my life after my Grandma dying and when we had to put my 1st dog down. I was one of the 5 grand prize winners of the front page contest to win a 3-day badge to PAX East. However, my wife and I are about a week away from closing on our very first house, so I can't be making any big purchases right now. Big purchases like a round-trip ticket to Boston from Austin, a hotel room for 2 nights on short notice, food and any other stuff that I would probably be buying while I was there. What sucks is that this would have been my first major gaming convention, let alone my first PAX (I did go to RTX this past year, but it wasn't all that big).

  18. #3157
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    So to hear that nealb! Sucks when all those grown up things get in the way of games and fun. But on the bright side you're closing on a house - you own house! That's awesome and I'm jealous.

  19. #3158
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    Two of my puppies are pretty sick right now. Over the weekend, I starting finding grass-filled vomit in the backyard. My full grown Lab wasn't eating much of her food. Then I caught one of my roommates' dogs vomiting up some opaque liquid and grass. Then two of my puppies. Brick vomited off and on for a day but after that was largely okay. Nasty diarrhea but otherwise energetic.

    Bootsy, who is the runt of the litter, got hit really bad. Wasn't interested in eating or drinking for about 24 hours. I have all the puppies on a payment plan through a Banfield clinic in the PetSmart up the road (unlimited free office visits plus shots and spaying/neutering for a flat monthly rate) but by the time Bootsy started looking really bad, it was after hours on a Sunday. I sat down to eat dinner and when I went to look for Bootsy afterwards, she was gone. I live in a house with the backyard securely walled up so I couldn't work out where she disappeared to and it was after nightfall so my roommates and I were running around the house, as well as outside with flashlights, trying to figure out where she went. After about fifteen minutes, I found her hiding behind a shelf in a backroom panting pretty hard and clearly in a lot of pain.

    The way she was acting, I couldn't afford to wait until the morning to take her to the Banfield, so off to the 24 hour Pet ER we went. Turned out to be a fucking fruitless endeavor and I ended up spending $250 for an inconclusive diagnosis. They wanted well over $500 for blood work and hospitalization but I just don't have that kind of money. (I probably would have but Brick took a shot to the eyeball while playing with his sisters a couple of weeks ago and it's been a steady stream of money for meds and tests since then to make sure there was no permanent damage.) I had to opt for the "outpatient" treatment which is basically "wait and see." They injected her with some fluids for hydration, took all my money and we went home.

    I couldn't call out of work the next day without getting written up, so I had to leave Bootsy there with a bowl of water near her head (she was barely moving at this point) and head to work. Cue eight hours of tension and worry and depression. My roommate picked a great time to stop answering his phone so I couldn't get any updates on her condition, which just made things worse.

    I finally make it home. I open the door... and she's sitting there wagging her tail at me.

    The worst seems to be over. I'm feeding Brick and Bootsy rice and boiled chicken to help them get their strength back without upsetting their stomach. I'm going to pick up some Pedialyte to keep them hydrated and whatnot. It's just a matter of being diligent until they kick whatever got to them.

    I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what they got into. The only plants in the backyard are a rosebush, a cactus, and a fig tree that hasn't bloomed yet. The puppies are going in for their last round of booster shots at the end of the week, so they've already gotten their rabies/parvo/distemper shots... and, anyway, the adult dogs were kinda sick too, so I doubt it's any of those. I'm at a loss. Unless they tried eating poo but I'm feeding them twice a day and giving them treats to gnaw on as well so they shouldn't be THAT hungry. I dunno.

    Maceo is the only puppy not illin' right now. Mostly she just seems to be confused why her siblings won't play with her.

    Dogs, man. I love 'em to death but, holy shit, is it stressful.

  20. #3159
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    ^Glad your puppies are ok.

    Really upset. Don't see it ending. I'm a failure or destroyer of everything I touch. I can't shake that I've done more harm than good in this world, no matter how upright my intentions are. Everything turns to shit. Now I've failed one of the most important things in my life: my child. In all honesty I want nothing more than to slip into oblivion right now. Drinking, drugs, a bullet... I just don't give a fuck anymore. I don't get to be a selfish cunt though. Not an option but I wonder how long until I crack and one of those becomes an option. The world is pressing down and I'm losing the fucking will to push back. I've been pushing for 31 years and heavily the past 2. It's almost fascinating to see what will finally break me. I'm so fucking stubborn and have been through and seen so much, I really can't imagine what will do it, but right now is the closest I've ever been. Jesus Christ... my baby. All I know is someone is going to die before I give in and not me or mine. I failed them once now, not again.

  21. #3160
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    First three calls of the day make you feel like the smallest person in the world. Sick and tired of this bullshit, the abuse customers give usually washes off me but it's gone on too long and is getting to me a lot more than it should.

    Add to this I've had thoughts about not furthering my education when I had the chance, I got too used to full-time wages after college and have been stuck in dead-end office jobs since. My own fault and a lot of things I can do about it, just not having the balls at the moment to pursue that or a new job. I was good in interviews, I can feed them any answer they want in the best way they want to hear it, but being in the same job for years where all you've had is knock backs puts a big dampener on your confidence.

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