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Thread: Depression Thread - What takes you out of the dumps and what's been bugging you?

  1. #3001
    Quote Originally Posted by Cataract View Post
    I feel bad even posting in here because I feel like everyone has worse problems, but fuck it. It's been about a month since my nine month relationship ended, and I'm still a fucking wreck. I have no clue how the hell I'm supposed to get over someone or suddenly just stop caring about them.

    I came across a picture that was of us, and she cropped me out of it to use as a profile picture on Facebook. That hurt real fucking bad. I get the feeling that she just doesn't care at all about me anymore, and here I am, unable to move on. I feel fucking pathetic. This, combined with already being in a shitty state of mind beforehand due to a lot of stressors, has me feeling miserable. I fucking hate this.
    Everyone's problems are valid, there's no comparison list.

    It's fucking horrible, it's reoccurring but it gets better. Different people have different timeframes for when they get over various stages and then the whole thing.

    I have no clue how the hell I'm supposed to get over someone or suddenly just stop caring about them.
    Every element is hard, but this part especially can hurt the most.

  2. #3002
    As much as others can think of it being painless, my split hurt like all hell had been let loose in my belly. Weird because I was the one that initiated it and I'm probably thought not to have been hurt by it due to some things that I have said in public places that haven't gone unnoticed. I haven't been vindictive or overly nasty to a point of over exaggeration, just mentioned how I genuinely felt at the time, sadly honesty probably hurts more than just being a dick with nothing to back it up.

    Dude, this shit hurts if you've only been together for a few days, weeks, months, never mind 9 months for you and what was 6 years for me. Sure there's people dying from all sorts in third world countries, Israel is bombing the shit out of Gaza, there's people suffering from poverty and all sorts of terrible illnesses. These are all terrible things and you may think that your problems are unimportant in comparison to things you see around the world and in your general day to day life. However, nothing is more important than how you feel and if something is bringing you down, no matter how insignificant you feel it maybe, you need to talk about it. Please talk, it helps so much.

    This forum has been a great help to me during my short life here, I came to this thread umming and arring for a few days over thinking what these people would think of me and my petty problems, would they be scared of my problems? Mental illnesses are still very much taboo in any walk of life. Would they just think, oh lord, new guy be whinging about insignificant problems that aren't really problems in comparison to anything else that was going on.

    I'm so happy that I was so wrong, sure they may not be able to help or have reference to understand your problems but just knowing there's someone out there behind a keyboard who genuinely does care enough to read what you have to say and throw a virtual hand or hug of support has been so helpful to my rehabilitiation from a hard bout of fighting my own mind. So, as I've already stated, no matter how big or small you interpret your problem to be, please just talk.

  3. #3003
    People shouldn't be allowed to look so much like other people.

  4. #3004
    I don't even fucking know anymore

  5. #3005
    Quote Originally Posted by Gatsby View Post
    Man, I just don't know what I want to do with myself anymore.

    After all the bullshit I've seen in the last year and a half at my job, I'm pretty sure I don't want to stay in medical anymore, and yet, nothing else really seems all that enticing anymore. Either I go into debt for some kind of degree for a job I'll realistically have to struggle a lot to get, or I don't go to school at all and skeet by paycheck to paycheck on mediocre wages, surrounded by a bunch of uneducated blue collar yocals.
    Honestly, the gap between educated jobs and blue-collar yokel jobs is starting to close. I feel about the same way as you now that I've been put through the academic wringer for 2 years and am a few months away from resigning myself to the dubious rewards of going to work in the environmental sector with a degree that has rapidly-diminishing real-world value. Also, the environmental sector people I've interacted with through work and school have succeeded at completely draining me of all the enthusiasm I once held for learning scientific theory and applying it to real world problems. For all of them, it's all cold and bland careerism that completely lacks inspiration or creativity, all of which makes me feel like I've been barking up the wrong tree for a good long time. Right now, all I care about is studying/composing music, reading, and playing video games and will accept a life of considerable poverty to not lose those things.

  6. #3006
    Quote Originally Posted by Gatsby View Post
    Yeah, the same is true in medical. You'd think that in my field, it'd be highly important for everyone to know a shitload about the theory behind what they're doing, but the reality is that insurance companies have their hands so far the industry's ass that almost nobody is actually required to know anything as long as they know the skills behind the care plans which have already been laid out for them.
    The environmental sector is basically the same ballgame. You spend years studying things like atmospheric physics, hydrogeology, and organic chemistry so that you can enter numbers into prescribed forms and stand around with a clipboard and a hardhat, watching blue-collar schlubs tightening the lids on garbage cans and moving dirt with bulldozers. For a while, I thought that academia would be an appropriate way to avoid that fate, so I worked hard and smart enough to earn a 4.00 GPA (a significant improvement from my previous grades) and a number of extra classes for my department, only to be shafted based solely on the fact that I dared enter the program as a masters student instead of a Ph.D candidate. Everything about my school's program is as feudal and obsolete as an Indian caste system and it's impossible to get anywhere with it unless you've been towing the academia line since high school. What makes it worse is that most of my professors are not really all that smart and that they outwardly project a very dreary image that shows academic success as something more based on luck and bullshittery than anything else. It's all very defeatist and the students who've taken over the program do everything to exacerbate these things.

    On top of that, I'm just fed up the bullshit catiness that exists from dealing with nurses. It's like none of these people are even remotely aware that it's the management that's fucking them and instead, become content to squabble amongst each other, engage in shift wars, and buy into the mentality that they're the only people in the building working hard.
    I found a lot of that in the environmental lab I used to work at. It's somewhat embarrassing to find one's self surrounded by a bunch of people who, rather than simply facing down the idea that maybe they're unambitious oafs who are working in a stupid and unrewarding job that's a product of their existential laziness, have to torture others by becoming walking black holes who subsume everything to their aimless and melodramatic work-martyrdom shit.

    But whatever. Now that I know that the game is just cuttthroat careerism, I'm willing to play it, it just needs to be in a field where I can use my strengths to move on up.
    Yeah, I've yet to find that field for myself and, unlike most of my friends and classmates, have never been able to boil away the strains of utopianism and righteous individualism that have been sabotaging my societal success since before I was a teenager. As horrible as that can be, I think I'd rather be dead than be different. I just hope that I'll be able to stop career-hopping before I'm 40.

  7. #3007
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    The Darkest Timeline
    Barring MAGfest, which I'm already pissed about missing, I'm lamenting over the weeks/months to come working a second job. It'll push me out of a comfort zone that I've been needing to climb out of, but at the same time, it's not going to be for myself that I'm working hard for. It'll be to keep my mother out of the hole, which we've just barely been doing for the past year. The bitch of it is, there really isn't a goal or endgame in sight. She's stuck paying for this shithole and the only way out would be to file bankruptcy, which she doesn't want to do, because it'll fuck up my sister's credit, whose name is also on the mortgage.

    She's been leaving it to my discretion how much to chip in each month, and I really can't nor want to ask for more than that, but I really don't see an end unless I just up and leave my eldest to probably take the rein of helping her out.

    Then again, I still don't have any plans of my own for the future, besides hitching it to Seattle, which I'm still on the fence about. I haven't had anything to clear my head for the past few weeks, so it may just be that old feeling settling back in. But the near future ain't looking too bright for my social time, when I thought I was already over that hump.

  8. 12-12-2012, 11:21 PM
    Matthew 7:6

  9. 12-17-2012, 04:26 PM

  10. #3008
    There's a religion thread here? Oh dear, nope, nooooppppe.

  11. #3009
    I've had folks remove me for posting similar images with quotes by Dawkins, Hitchens... Hell even stand-up comedians who have voiced similar messages.

    They're just trains of thought that have helped shape me and make me question everything. I can't help it if they offend anyone as I don't actively seek to upset people.

    You post some great stuff Shane, glad to have you on my feed.

  12. #3010
    Thanks Ryan. Y'know I really have had a very deep anger towards the church for a very long time. Not to be melodramatic but imagine how you'd feel, if you had been beaten as a child and called the Devil. Or if you lost someone close to you and had a preacher say they went to Hell.

    You'd probably want to do something about that. Anyone in their right mind would.

    Anger doesn't really fix things though. Not unless you focus it properly.

  13. #3011
    My cartilidge is retorn in my knee...what great timing. Leg fucked, can't really get it seen to or operated on until the new year as it'll cost too much due to Ireland's overpriced medical system. Such wonderful luck I have.

  14. #3012
    Retorn? Torn again since your fall, or was there an existing injury? Doesn't matter, I guess, it's bad news either way. Hope you can manage until you're able to get it taken care of.

  15. 12-18-2012, 06:56 PM

  16. #3013
    I had injury couple years ago, that tore the cartiledge and caused painful locks periodically. I was too stubborn to get it seen. Eventually a bad twist/lock occurred one night and I ended up needing an operation and physio-thraphy. It's been 2/3 years since and the day I was to fly home for Christmas, I fell backwards down a flight of stairs and the my knee went in one direction, as the rest of my leg went the other.

    Managed to just about get plane home, but the knee is tightening to the point of not being very bendable and it's the same pain/symptoms as before.

  17. #3014
    Damn lady, take it easy on your Christmas break. I hope the pain isn't too bad.

  18. #3015
    What he said and see a doctor!

  19. 12-19-2012, 01:48 AM

  20. #3016
    Shit, take care GB.

    Any chance of being smuggled over the border to get to our wonderful (snarf) NHS?

    Sounds like a job for the D-Team.

  21. #3017
    Is the D a reference to Destructoid or just how poorly we'd compare in performance to the A-Team?

  22. 12-19-2012, 02:04 AM

  23. #3018
    As Abe Simpson would say "a little from column A, a little from column B"

  24. #3019
    Tarvu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Anywhere but here
    Robot Chicken had a B-Team skit. I'd like to see how bad the D-Team is.

  25. #3020
    Let's get a van together and we'll soon find out.

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