Good Sex

[The Virgin Queen]

Any friends to go bar hopping with?

[Mr. Gobbldigook]

maybe but I'm not working yet so I dont really have the money to hop.

[GlowBear]

I think that's an extremely narrow way of looking at things. Just because it's a one night stand doesn't mean it's some joyless void of happiness.

First off, orgasms from masturbation don't compare to real sex. It's literally the difference between watching someone ride a roller coaster and riding the roller coaster.

The only bad thing that comes out of a one night stand is the scenario where you wish it could be something more and it won't be because you thought it was something else. As long as both sides are clear on what they want, I don't see how it's a bad thing. I don't know though, maybe I just have a higher sex drive than some people. Sex is something that's fun on it's own, I try and get it whenever I can. Relationships are something different that just happen to involve it.

Sorry, but when I hear you guys describe one night stands so crudely, I feel like you're describing more what prostitution is than what one night stands are.

Well hang on. I don't think anyone ever said there was anything wrong with one night stands, in fact I said that if you are enjoying yourself and it's all good then go for it.

I was speaking about my own personal desires and wants and one night stands aren't really for me, that isn't to say that a scenario can't come along where a moment of intense passion comes out of nowhere and leads to some sort of physicalness that isn't repeated with a certain individual again.

So no, nothing wrong with one night stands, but it isn't easy for people to engage in them and it's as common for people not to want to as people who do.

We all know that sex with someone is better, I did say doing stuff with others intensifies it, but masturbation is still great for orgasms, just that quick release. Otherwise I would have said masturbation is great for the whole sex experience and feeling loved, which I did not.

[Nihil]

You tried places like OKC for casual hookups? Maybe try to get a FWB thing going with a female friend?

I love taking half a second to figure out all these random acronyms. Pat myself on the back every time.

Wait this is the sex thread.

I beat myself off afterwards every time? Yeah, let's go with that.

derp

[Bec]

i also wasnt looking down on the one night stand thing. its just that unless i feel close to the person and confortable with them i dont get as much pleasure from the sex, as im worrying about my body, what they think, im not comfortable or confident. so its very much a reflection on me rather than one nights stands in general. i dont look down on them at all, i was just saying my one experience with it wasnt great at all, and I felt worse about myself after for feeling pressured into doing something I really didnt want to.

[Sir Legendhead]

Yeah, it's obviously a lot different for guys. I actually had a woman try to pressure me into sex once. The irony of it was, I would have been interested if she hadn't tried so hard.

Stripping down naked in the living room, masturbating, and demanding to watch porn is overkill. At that point the delicate mystery of the sexual encounter has been destroyed. It doesn't matter how good the woman looks. Shit like that is not as sexy as it sounds. I was just like...really?

Also, this anecdote has nothing to do with anything and shouldn't be taken as a response to anyone. I've been wanting to get that story off my chest for a while now and tonight is the night when I'm drunk enough to do it.

[GlowBear]

Stripping down naked in the living room, masturbating, and demanding to watch porn is overkill.

That's what this woman did to try and arouse you and initiate sex?

See it was alright up until the demanding part. There's ways of doing the above in a sensual manner, instead of a rough turn offish way. Sensuality is a fucking win.

[Panzadolphin56]

Be better if she kept her clothes on and just teased a bit :/

[Ali D]

I hope you guys don't look down on people who have one night stands. A lot of people, myself included, are able to separate love from sex.

That's fine, a one night stand is cool if both people realise that's what it is.

[Sir Legendhead]

That's what this woman did to try and arouse you and initiate sex?

See it was alright up until the demanding part. There's ways of doing the above in a sensual manner, instead of a rough turn offish way. Sensuality is a fucking win.

Yeah, these were the kinds of people I hung out with a year ago. After all that, I'd rather just stay home at the nice quiet place I have now and talk to women on the internet. We men are enraptured by the physicality of it all when we're young and naive. Now that I've come to the point where that aspect is no longer a mystery, I find myself more interested in the psychological/spiritual side.

I mean, fuck. I'm more turned on by a woman in a nice sweater than naked flesh at this point. I can totally see how some guys get so many women that they wind up turning gay (or bi, w/e).

[Bec]

looks like pub quiz guy is flaking out on me.

oh hai becs self esteem *CRUSHES INTO FLOOR*

bah. he is being all cold to me for somereason

[GlowBear]

As in he hasn't responded or his responses have been cold?

[Wry Guy]

Guy could just be busy. Don't look too much into it. Worst thing you can do is keep pushing the matter and projecting the lack of self-esteem.

[Panzadolphin56]

Yeah, he may just be trying not to seem too keen so he doesn't scare you off.

[Bec]

well he has just seemed distant in general for th epast week or so.

he wrote to me saying
"heya im not sure what time ill be free tonight. i have to go to a mates and sort some stuff out for sween. what are you today?"

so i repy

"no worries. not much, just a bit of uni work"
thinking he would write back suggesting we so soemthing today instead. but that was 2 hours ago and ihavent heard back. so im just leaving it.

[GlowBear]

Generally speaking, I wish people didn't do that, I like keen (from the right person). It's nice to know that someones is thinking about you&misses you ect. Esteem be damned, it's just nice.

Apparently most women like the whole being treated mean and that makes them keen. I hate it, pedantic mean moaners are offputting.

[Bec]

i know what you mean. i hate the whole playing games thing. after our dinner i told him i had fun and would like to do it again. he knows where i stand. i am definitely not a fan of treat em mean keep em keen,

[Panzadolphin56]

I agree Glowbo, I generally feel that way. Good communication is important.

Bec, have you thought about leaving it a few days and then maybe asking him out or atleast making it obvious you're interested in going out?

[GlowBear]

That's a good idea, just leaving it a few days and getting on with other things would be good for you. The waiting game is always annoying and keeping patience with such things is hard, but it'd be better and help time pass.

If he is suddenly not feeling it (which we of course don't know) then well his loss. Don't forget that feeling you had when you were going out and that someone took an interest in you, because it'll be true again and again after this dude regardless.

[Sir Legendhead]

Yeah, he may just be trying not to seem too keen so he doesn't scare you off.

This guy right here, he understands how we guys think.