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Thread: Dwarf Fortress

  1. #1
    Ravec999's Avatar
    5 posts since Aug 2007

    Dwarf Fortress

    Okay, so this game seems incredible. But it's so confusing and I have no idea what's going on. Does anyone have links to easy tutorials to follow other than the wiki or something. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Phantomile's Avatar
    6,573 posts since Jun 2009

    That's what everyone says. My guess is that no one has ever actually played it and they're all just saying it's awesome in order to pretend that they did.


    I'm kidding, but yeah, I'm way too impatient to figure it out either.

  3. #3
    TewDee's Avatar
    1,393 posts since Jul 2008

    Dwarf Fortress is something I can appreciate from a distance. I love reading the absolutely insane stories that come from the game and I loved to have some myself, but the menu system is so...cluttered. It's the big wall of that game.

    However, anyone really interested in learning to play can follow this amazing tutorial...http://afteractionreporter.com/2009/...ss-part-1-wtf/

  4. #4
    This. Read this and all like, fourteen parts or whatever.

    Personally, I haven't played it, but it looks like something I could get into if I were jobless and still self-sustaining.

  5. #5
    This game basically requires you to have no responsibilities and a PhD to even begin to start playing. It's likely not worth it.

  6. #6
    Hahaha, first I've heard of this. Fantastic.

  7. #7
    I sware this is an old discussion. Either that, or I'm having a serious case of Deja Vu.

  8. #8
    Mr Kite's Avatar
    407 posts since Oct 2008

    Quote Originally Posted by CaffeineKnight View Post
    I sware this is an old discussion. Either that, or I'm having a serious case of Deja Vu.
    I swear "sware" is not a word. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I got nothing good to contribute other than what's been said by you people so I'm just gonna go.

  9. #9
    'Aight, here's a nice little story that I would like to tell.

    There I was, just minding my own business, tending to my fort, when my armorer dwarf gets an artistic vision. It (never bothered to check the sex) goes and takes over the metalsmith. "Cool," I thought, "I just smelted a whole bunch of ores. I'll be fine." But just to double check, I checked out the workshop and the Dwarf was muttering "Metals... Bars... Gems... Shiny..."

    Well, shit. In this whole god damn fortress I don't have a single gem to spare. Now, being a noob, I only had an idea where I could find gems: either in some stone, or by trading. By luck, a trading caravan comes and unloads on my depot. I'm saved. I do my usual trading business, and offer my trade.

    'Considering your goods, I can't see you walk off with so many items.'

    Alright, Mr. Trader, I'll play your game.

    'Maybe next time I come back, you will stop with your childish games."

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-

    Alright, maybe I still have a chance. I do some exploratory digging on a lower level. No gems. Tiger iron, which looks pretty, but no gems.

    Crap. All I can do now is watch.

    Five minutes latter, the armorer goes berserk on the nearest dwarf, my only semi-skilled blacksmith. After a quick game of grab ass around the workshop floor, they fight it out. However, the blacksmith's idea of fighting back seems to be slapping and he is soon deceased. The armorer runs across the hallway to the rock workshops and starts fighting a dog. Apparently, the dog wasn't a war dog and was soon struck down also. The armorer, now bleeding, decides to interrupt a party in the near dining room. Upon entering through a northern door, what happened next could only be described as mass hysteria. What seems like the entire population of my fortress, animals included, ran around like chickens with their heads cut off in this small confined space. Only a few dwarfs had the brains to leave the mayhem, while the others blinked around the room possibly fighting the armorer, but they could've just been having seizures. After a minute or two, the armor finally bled to death.

    And the dwarves went back to partying.

  10. #10
    TewDee's Avatar
    1,393 posts since Jul 2008

    Quote Originally Posted by Dead Movie Star View Post
    *stuff*
    Stories like this are why Dwarf Fortress is awesome.

  11. #11
    Intruder's Avatar
    2,973 posts since Aug 2008

    Quote Originally Posted by TewDee View Post
    Stories like this are why Dwarf Fortress is awesome.
    Exactly. The story in one of the Rev Rants is still my favorite.

    I'm still trying to get a hang of the game itself.

  12. #12

    15 posts since Mar 2008
    I like how everyone seems to have trouble with this. The game isn't too hard to play, it's just the randomness that gets you.

    You guys should read the wiki while playing, if anything.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Blake View Post
    I like how everyone seems to have trouble with this. The game isn't too hard to play, it's just the randomness that gets you.

    You guys should read the wiki while playing, if anything.
    The utterly nooby tutorial, though 100 pages long, is insanely helpful.



    Also, yesterday a Pleb dwarf gave birth to her child while carrying a bed.

  14. #14
    Baumph.



    I don't think the dwarves liked the name, though, because they refused to do what I told them and I had to abandon the fortress five minutes later.

  15. #15
    Intruder's Avatar
    2,973 posts since Aug 2008

    Quote Originally Posted by Dead Movie Star View Post
    The utterly nooby tutorial, though 100 pages long, is insanely helpful.



    Also, yesterday a Pleb dwarf gave birth to her child while carrying a bed.
    Pshh, that's how most of us are born. My mother was slaying a dragon when I was spit out.

  16. #16
    I'll occupy this dead husk of a thread.

  17. #17
    Do you play?

    I have played in the past, and I loved it. It just a bit to get into.

  18. #18

  19. #19
    So a group of badgers just killed all my dogs and a cat. Kind of ironic.

  20. #20
    SchildConstruct's Avatar
    2,060 posts since Oct 2009

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    So a group of badgers just killed all my dogs and a cat. Kind of ironic.
    Nope. Dog breeds have been created to deal with badgers. Dachshunde take their name from hunting badgers (why do you think them's so mean).

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